This is going to be a long long story, since I miss blogging sooooooo much :)
So .. I've just finished my final examinations for semester 3, alhamdulillah, long way to go, I still have 3 semesters before I graduate (InsyaAllah) and alhamdulillah, everything went well. I mean, the examinations went well though I was thinking of getting not really a good results based on what I've gone through for this two weeks of examinations. Honestly, I don't expect much for my result, I don't even know if I could pass for at least 3 pointer but, well, if Allah wills then insyaAllah, I will.
Reminiscing the good old days when I 'accidentally' opened up my old pictures folders and I found that I've changed a lot mentally and physically. Though the memories are hard to explain by words but I really want to express that I really really miss the old days.
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| Abah's birthday card 2008 |
I used to have a very happy family, which makes me a very happy-go-lucky girl. I still am, but I realized that it is not as much as I used to be. Yes, I admit I've changed, but not totally. I'm still the same girl who would laugh over simple things, who don't care about being rich like everyone else, who put their families at the very top of priorities, yes, I am still that girl.
Realizing how I used to be a kid, who did not have to think too much about everything, who just live her life as maximum as she can, and she can do anything she wants without anyone getting pissed off, highlighting the fact that she was only a kid makes me miss my childhood sooo muchh.
Look how fast time has flies.
Well, maybe it's just another way of growing up ... :)
Remembering how I used to be independent since I was in standard form, year 4, where I need to move from Perak to Selangor, living with abah and siblings, really makes me wonder how could I really survive in the past, without my mother. It was so tough back then. I could still cry talking about it in the present. But I know, and I realize that I wouldn't survive well if I'm not the chosen one in the first place. See? Allah gives tests based on our capability to handle them, not beyond what we can't bear.
And I'm still survive. Getting stronger each day :)
Trying to suit myself very well with new environment, new school, new friends till I reached 12 years old. That year was the first year we all the '93s were taking the first 'big' examination called the UPSR. Alhamdulillah, for the first time in my life, I was so happy to get a good result though it wasn't straight A's, Science dragged my result. Really, Azani? Really? :/
Yes, I really hate science during the past but look at what I'm taking now in UKM. Chemistry. A part of science. lol
Moving on to high school, for the first 3 years, from Form 1 to Form 3, I studied in SMK Jalan 3 Bandar Baru Bangi. It's a place where I met my bestfriends, my own 'satu-kepala' group, for the first time. The 4A3H.
A- Azani
A- Ayu
A- Athirah
A- Ain
H- Haz
H- Hashimah
H- Hazirah
It was coincidence that I met all of them and it's too cliche, isn't it, having a group name, capitalized by each member's name. lol I was so happy to know them even though I may no longer be in their life today. Maybe. Everything has changed :') Of course, there are regrets. We, whose life used to fill with laughters and jokes, today is making our own way separately. It's not that we forget each other but sometimes friends who we thought would last as bestfriends are the one who decided to make their own way, leaving memories as memories, not treasures.
Yes, we still contact each other but, rarely. And I guess it's only because of you are in my facebook's friendlist, and I'm in yours. That's all ... No talking, no chatting, since the day I moved to MRSM. I don't know if I could say this as 'contacting each other' anymore.
Just so you guys know, I really miss you guys and I've never forget all of you. I still stalked each one of you, I still have the urge to know what's going on with all of you. But I couldn't deny the fact that we are not as close as how we used to be ...
:(
Sobbing.
Okay, move on. Haha
Getting good results during the PMR (except for History, the only B+ I got -.-) brought me to MRSM KKB. The place where I found friends, but not bestfriends. I decided to take the chance to study in a boarding school for the first time and of course, for a girl who has never studied in a boarding school, she end up crying every night during the first two weeks -___-" I don't think I miss the college so much because bitter memories are dominating the sweet memories I've got there. If I were to tell you the bitter and sweet memories, this entry is not going to end. lol.
The sweetest memory I've collected is only about my SPM results. lol alhamdulillah :D
And one of the bitter memories is that no one came during my graduation day. Seeing other people graduate with families beside them, hurts me a lot back then.
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| We used to be bestfriends too. |
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| Last day in MRSM. 'Arts' made by batch SPM '10 |
That one picture above, five of us, all were newbies. It's not that we avoid to befriend with those who I can called as 'seniors' but it seems like the gap was too big and they were the one who avoided us. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm having a very hard time studying in mrsm. lol
That's why I rarely talked about my mrsm's life. And maybe the only one thing I miss was the way teachers taught us till we understand each topic of a subject. Besides I miss my homeroom's mother, Cikgu Suzy who has been so nice to me. She treated me like I am her own daughter and I'm so glad to call her as my second mother. Hehe. Assignments? I definitely do not miss you. Forever. lol
Moving on to matric's life I've got to scream that I miss my matriculation life sooooooooo much!! KMS, the place where I found my true friends and my true identity. A year only, yet full with treasures. Everything, I mean like every single thing about KMS really touched my heart till today. I miss KMS so much :(
How I miss studying at the tutorial rooms during weekends and study week, at night till dot dot a.m, with bestfriends. How I miss teaching and being taught with them. How I miss the cafes, the atmospheres ...
How I miss to walk and jog every evening, seeing my crush playing squash lollllllll :3
Ex-crush I mean. Hahaha. Okay. Stop there -.-
Yeah, I have to admit, among all of my journey of life till today, I mean my education journey, the one that I miss the most is my matriculation life. Though Banting was so hot back then till my face got sunburned like hell but actually the physical change is not comparable with the treasures I found. If I have the chance to repeat my matriculation life, I will ...
Not repeat -.-
Lol. If we keep on looking back in the past, and keep wanting them to be in our life again, we will not be able to move on a step forward and see what we really want in the future. We have to look back, but only to see how much we have left behind, and which one should we improve in the future, not to bring them especially the bad step, again.
Dear SM3K1P10 and Vega-T1-38 members, I miss you guys loads. *tear drops* :(
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| Damn. Look what KMS did to me. |
That photo was taken after the PJK session, if I'm not mistaken during my second semester in KMS.
It was soooo hot in KMS that my face got burnt so bad.
And that photo really really really makes my friends here in UKM burst into laughter.
Really, is that me? :/
Really? Hahahaha
Yes, that's what Banting did to me. Hahaha. Nightmares -.-
I won't go or stay in Banting anymore. I don't want to >.<
And you know what Amy was once said that people with dimples are cute, so I tell her, I have dimples too. And she said she never saw my dimples and she never knew that I have dimples. So I replied, "You never scanned my face, try me when I smile" and then she was like, "Okay I am staring at your matric's picture, oh yeah, so many dimples, oh, so obvious" Hahahahahahaha pffttt
Loads of 'things' on my face actually but the 'darkness' has overshadowed them that's why if I stood in the dark, the only thing that can be seen is my teeth. Funny isn't it? Glad that I have finally got back my real nationality hahahahahahahahaha k.
I bet you are laughing as well seeing that photo. It's okay xD
Okay. Fuh. Take a deep breath. *inhaling*
So, proceed. Today is 16th January 2014.
I'm reaching 21 years old unofficially and I don't know if my age is just a number, or I really have grown up becoming a lady. Because I don't think my mind fits a 21 years old lady. lol
Living my life, still as student, but has been upgraded to a degree student. Ceh, what so good about being a degree student anyway =.= Assignments that never stop, lectures that are getting boring each day and of course, examinations that every students hate. Being a chemistry students especially makes me sometimes fed up with the packed schedule. I wonder why this course is so hard that every semesters we have to take at least 8 to 10 subjects while what I see from my roommates, they won't exceed 8 subjects in a semester.
It's like no matter how hard will it takes, I have to be strong and stay strong and never give up because this is actually one of the purposes of living in His universe. I can't complain, we can't complain. But I still did that sometimes lol
And of course, my examinations period will be the longest among all of the courses. Hahah okay okay. That's not complaining. That is ...
Okay. Sorry. :3
Having Hazirah, Ros, Amy, Myra and Shahirah, my beautiful girlfriends here is one of the best treasures I found in UKM. They are the one who makes my day complete, the one who loves to do random stupid things with me, the one who helped me when I have problems, and the one who accept and respect my privacy as a friend. They don't care how ugly I can get, how messed up I could be, they'll be there for me most of the time.
And I appreciate them. Very much :)
I know, lots of things have passed and how fast time has flies. Life taught me a lot of things. What happened for the past two years really broke my heart. Supposedly home is where your heart is, yes, home is where my heart is, but maybe a fixed heart with scars all over it. I am building my own wall to avoid from feeling too much pain. I know what I have learned has finally makes me stronger and better than the old me.
And I'm glad that everything has return to be normal again. I've got my brother back, and I have only one sister with me now. And I will take care of them as long as I live. I have abah, who has been a strong man too. And acik, who has been replacing mom for about a year. Ibu, who I've been missing too much, but I know, the right time hasn't come yet. Allah wants us to be a lot more patient with what He has planned for us. It's okay. If He wills, we will live happily together again, leaving those bad memories behind. InsyaAllah :)
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| :) |
And so, I guess we are reaching at the end of the entry. Since I am having a quite long holiday for about a month, so I have planned some things to do at home. So what's the plan?
Eat.
Sleep.
Eat.
Sleep.
Runningman.
Eat.
And sleep.
:)
Hahaha. Gila? Nahhh. I am going to transform into a giant if I repeat those activities everyday.
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| Ihiks :3 |
And so, I wish you guys a nice holiday at home! :) May all of our results pass with flying colours. Hehehe spoiler alert lol
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| Jimba hari ini setelah habis exam. |
Dua benda yang dari dulu tak pernah berubah pasai aku; ketinggian dan ketembaman.
So jangan nak persoalkan, aku tampaq satgi berteraboq gigi kahkahkah
Okay bye.
Assalamualaikum dan selamat malam. Xoxo :)
