Late night thoughts

Have you ever heard that real thoughts come out of people's mind after midnight, around 2 am and above? Iyeap, it is. It's when everybody has fallen asleep and there you go, sitting or even laying on your bed, having thousands of thoughts that slowly breaks you inside.

It's the time when your hidden scars slowly showed itself and you can still feel the pain somehow. It's when you feel like nobody's going to care about whatever that you're going through in life. It's all the real thoughts that you keep all by yourself so that you won't make others feel guilty.

It's that night (or morning) when you realize that you have gone through loads of things that somehow makes you stronger, even though it's been hard to pass through it all. It's the night when you're having a self reflection on all of your actions including the stupidest actions that you've ever did.

3.37 a.m and I'm still awake, having this kind of thoughts maybe? :/

Lol. Noooo, I'm noootttt having those thoughts ... maybe? :/

Lol again.

I guess that's why all parents in the world taught their children to sleep early since they were small right? But nowadays who would sleep early when the internet gives them pleasure to stay awake rather than to sleep? And they'll wake up tomorrow morning, complaining. True story.

......

Girls overthink. That's all I can say. And overthinking kills so don't overthink. But, you'll definitely be like :
Do not overthink ...
Do not overthink ...
Do not overthink ...
Do not ... Shit

I am not overthinking though :p (a serious statement) It's just that everytime I'm about to sleep, I would think of everything that happened to me on that day. It's like a routine to reflect what I've done today and what makes me happy and sad and so on.

 Some of the real simple sadness is when people don't reply your WhatsApp or your text, or they do reply but it was a cold reply. It's called sadness when you planned to hangout with some of your friends and you got real excited and those plans end up cancelled due to some reasonable excuses. It's sadness when you were about to eat something that you've been craving for months but you got no money to buy them or when you do, the stalls were closed.

Meanwhile, some real simple happiness is when someone compliments you, on what you wear or how do you look like in a day. It's happiness when you got time to relax after a long tiring day plus having sweet dreams. It's happiness when someone took your 2 seconds to read a real sweet text. It's happiness when you see your parents smile when you make jokes. It's happiness when you feed some of the random cats or even your own pet.

The examples are really small, simple, little things right but they do bring effects to your heart. :)

Everybody loves happiness and nobody loves sadness. So what we gotta do to get rid of those sadness ? It is ...

Some unnecessary feelings are meant to be deleted. Like what -- guilty when you don't please people because from the moment you are alive, you're not meant to please people with your actions. Just be the real you. If people like it then that's fine and even if people don't like you, then let them be.

"You end up real disappointed when you go through life thinking people have the same heart as you."

- Farah Shazleen

Something to ponder upon. :)

#GER 4-0 #POR

Hello! Sape tengok game semalam? Sape tengok sape tengoookkkkkkk??? K over.

A friendly match between two bestfriends (I guess)

Semalam berlangsungnya match football ke berapa entah untuk merebut Piala Dunia 2014, iaitu game Germany vs. Portugal. Match yang semalam ni lah dikatakan match paling ditunggu-tunggu sebab melibatkan dua pasukan yang boleh kata kuat juga lah. Sape sokong Germany meh sep sikiittt hehe

It was a good match though, tak menyesal stay up walaupun hakikatnya hari ni aku ada paper. Memula ingatkan tak dapat la nak tengok game first Germany sbb ada paper lepastu tetiba kebetulan pulak Ifolio UKM tak boleh bukak malam tadi so notes untuk paper hari ni tak dapat download maka apa lagi, fokus kat bola je ah :p

Start je match, baru minit ke berapa entah, Khedira dah start tunjuk belang dia. Hampiirrr sangat nak goal, sipi kena tiang. Time tu debor dia takyah cakap ah. Memang debor betul. Bila Thomas Muller dah muller-kan goal (penalti) haaa time tu lagi debor. Sebab apa? Sebab takut ngat jadi macam 5PA1N awal2 goal last2 lauk KAHKAHKAHKAH maafkan saya...............

Dan kemudian berkembang lah pula dengan goal kedua dari Muller lagi dan goal ketiga dari Hummel yang humble dan keempat dari Muller juga. Thomas Muller memang power. Dia yang muller muller goalkan dan dia juga lah yang menghabiskan goal keempat untuk Germany. Salam 4-0!

Sebenarnya nak expresskan rasa kasihan kepada CR7 sebab muka dia sangat menyedihkan semalam. Muka dia penat gila (tapi tetap handsome) dan team dia macam, "Whatever it is, pass the ball to CR." Semua mengharapkan dia.... Sorry cakap tapi defend Portugal teruk gila berterabur. Meanwhile Germany punya team masing2 memang jaga gila territory masing2.

Basically ...

Taktau lah maybe memang takde rezeki untuk Portugal. Tapi serius, kesian gila kat CR.Dah lah first half si Pepe kena red card. Tinggal seploh orang je main, lawan seblas orang. Double kasihan. And to Pepe, go home dude you're drunk. Lulz

Marco Reus must be happy to see his team winning the match. It'll be perfect if he could play along tapi apa boleh buat. Get well soon kaki tu hehehehe

And hence, congratulations to my team for winning and sorry, please try later untuk team Four-to-girl. KAHKAH permulaan yang baik untuk #GER

Looking forward to #GER next match on 22nd June 2014, vs. Ghana. May the luck be with them!

Till then :)

Mud Ekjem

Aku versi anime. Kahkah *menyorok belakang langsir*

Tahukah anda, UKM dah start final exam untuk pelajar2 tersayang pada 9 Jun yang lalu? Ya, paper first aku pun start 9 Jun juga, sama macam orang lain. Dan bakal habis pada 23 Jun 2014 untuk paper Amali Kimia.

Jujur cakap, sem ni paling teruk. Segala-galanya teruk. Schedule class mostly start pagi sampai petang, Jumaat petang pun masih ada class sedangkan waktu tu telah masuknya waktu untuk sesetengah pelajar balik ke rumah untuk cuti hujung minggu........

Assignments yang suka datang secara berjemaah terutamanya bila dah dekat2 midtest dengan final exam. Bayangkan time study week pun ada 2 assignments to be accomplished. Memang membantu pelajar, tapi bagi aku, study week tu masa untuk study lah bukan untuk berassignment. Study week sem ni walaupun hampir 9 hari, aku rasa macam 2-3 hari je, cepat benor masa berlalu.

Dan berita paling menyayat hati sekali adalah semestinya schedule final exam aku. Nak bersedih pun rasa tak sempat sebab nak taknak memang terpaksa kentalkan diri untuk first 4 killer papers yang berderet dari 9 Jun sampai 12 Jun 2014. Ya......

Tengok tarikh hari ni, 13 Jun 2013, jam 00:25 am. Menandakan aku sudah pun menghabiskan 4 killer papers dengan jayanya. Ni lagi menyayat hati. Sebab tak sangka aku mampu bertahan selama 4 hari berturut2. Tidur takat 3 jam eleh nak ngences pun tak sempat HAHA bangun terkebil2 je mata ni ha nak bukak. Berkali2 ke toilet pastu splash air ke muka acah2 macam dalam iklan, sbb mengantuk sangat.

Alhamdulillah, nak kata yakin lepas jawab 4 papers tu, takde lah kan kang orang kata over confident plak. Bhahaha cumanya, alhamdulillah, okay laa jgak cuma stakat ni subjek yang paling tak meyakinkan adalah Kimia Koordinatan. Tu je la kot, yang lain alhamdulillah soalan2 past year yang banyak keluar. Dan aku sebenarnya menjenguk2 je past year tu, tak buat pun HAHA tapi em em, alhamdulillah jelah mampu komen.

Dan sebenarnya agak terkilan sedikit sbb jadual ni berderet. 10 Jun haritu birthday adik perempuan aku dan aku tak dapat nak balik rumah sambut dengan diorang. And aku yang paling tak prepare apa2 untuk adik aku sebab aku lupa -_____- Teruk gila rasa, dok fikir pasal final exam yang berderet sampai lupa salah satu tarikh tu adalah birthday adik aku.

Anyway, harapan aku tinggi jugak untuk sem ni. Kalau boleh nak naikkan pointer dari sem lepas, walaupun hakikatnya aku tau sem ni paling teruk pengurusan masa dan hmm taktau lah cemana. Tapi insyaAllah, setiap usaha ada ganjaran-Nya dan aku harap usaha aku berjaga malam dan sebagainya ni berbaloi lah. Memang ilmu bukan pada pointer tapi zaman sekarang ni sape je yang tak tengok pointer kan. Pastu compare2 macam mintak lempang. (Tiber emo)

So all the best kepada semua yang mengambil final exam sama seperti saya. Semoga semua usaha kita dibayar cash cash cash di dunia, kalau tak bayar cash kat dunia pun, insyaAllah ada cheque untuk ganjaran akhirat sana. Study study jugak, solat jangan lupa. Lagi2 sekarang dah Syaaban, dah boleh start bangun malam dan beribadat, biasakan diri dengan amalan sebelum menghadapi Ramadhan. Bersama-samalah kita. Hehe

Aku ada 5 papers to go lagi, minggu depan doublet of doublet, Isnin Selasa dan Khamis Jumaat. Dan minggu lagi satu, last paper hari Isnin. Moga dipermudahkan. Saat saat macam ni, doa dari ibu dan abah serta doa sahabat dalam diam amatlah diperlukan. Doa :)

Dan kemudian berholidaylah kita ke Terengganu. Yeeheeeee. Untuk apa? Jeng jeng jeng. Nanti update lagi.

Sekian, mekaseh kerana sudi menjenguk. Rindu ngat kat blog ni tapi takdak masa nak update. Ni curi masa sat. Kihkih

P/s : Musim panas terik macam ni elok jugak kalau buat agar-agar kering. Waahhh tazzabar nak buat kuih raya. Projek cuti nanti ~.~

P/s lagi : Untuk World Cup, aku sokong Germany ah cam biasaaaa. Tapi sedih sebab Reus tak main, injured. Get well soon, sayang. Eh kbai

Flying kiss dari jauh k. Eh eh eh

Bye :D

Safe journey

Remember when I told ya I'm having this kind of dream where I cried when I woke up on the next day? Do you wanna know what those dreams are about?

I dream about my little sister and her. We were at the airport, I'm sending them at the airport. They were going somewhere. And in that dream, my little sister said that she doesn't want to follow her, but she have to. She asked me to come along but I said I can't. And she hugged me so tight that she doesn't wanna let go.

And I'm having this kind of thought about the flight, MH370 where the flight never brings its passengers back home. And I thought they won't be coming back here in Malaysia anymore. That's why the dream sadden me so much. And the same dream comes two nights in a row.

And you know what? Today, this morning to be exact, I received a message saying that they were leaving. They were leaving ... on a flight, to a place where they belong. Somewhere I can't go, I can't follow.

"Nanti Ayin umur 12 tahun, Ayin balik la sini balik."

I missed that voice, so much. And when I get to talk to her, I feel like this is going to be the last time. I don't know, maybe it's because I missed her so much and all I know on the next day is that they were leaving. My dream comes true. And it's painful enough to let go ..

I can't go see her for probably the last time. I am not allowed to. I can only hear her voice, the same little voice that I took care of since she was born.

Sigh ...

All I can do now is to pray for her to live in interesting times, may she be blessed with good health, may she always be brave, may He keep her under His protection.

Have a safe journey, dear sister.
Till we meet again, if He wills.

Please be well

Just a quick post about someone that crossed my mind lately.

I've been dreaming about my little sister for the past few days, if I'm not mistaken 2 nights in a row. I'm not sure if I'm the one who missed her so bad or she did.

All I know is that, the dream was a bad dream which almost, oh no, the dream makes me cry when I woke up on the next day.

I don't know if we would ever see each other again in the future, but all I wanna say is that, please be well, dear sister. Eat well, live well. I might not be there to take care of you, no longer, but whatever it is, you're still my sister and nothing can actually change that fate.

This post somehow breaks a part of my heart ...

"Apa yang kita sayang, minta Allah jaga."

I miss you, a lot.