Kisah Hari Ini

Assalamualaikum :)

Al-kisahnya hari ni 20 August 2013, hari perbicaraan yang ke 37324183276 kali untuk kes yang tak pernah habis tu -.-

tido awal smlm sbb kena bangun awal harini. air pagi tadi memang ... sejuk gileee gileee gileeee gileeeeeee tak pernah aku mandi dengan air yang sesejuk tu ><" even aku mandi 4.30 pagi waktu bulan Ramadhan dulu, air dia tak sesejuk pagi tadi. aku taktau ah kenapa, mungkin sbb hujan kot sepanjang hari smlm pastu waktu malam pun hujan lagi. memang menggeletar habis, dah lama tak menggigil bibir bbrrbbrrrbrrr waktu mandi hahaha xD

and then, permulaan hari yang tak berapa bagus. kaki gua tersepak bata yang ada kat sebelah rak kasut waktu gua nak amek kasut. perghhh berdarah la jawabnya -.- aku gagahkan jugak kaki ni sbb waktu tu mcm dah lewat takut tak sempat sampai court. lagipun bukan pergi naik moto sbb moto abah pakai untuk pergi kerja, kereta rosak, so terpaksa suh abah tolong hntrkan smpai tempat teksi dkat2 ngan ktm tu, aku pergi naik teksi. berdua dengan adikku tersayang puih

tunggu punya tunggu, kul 10.30 baru start kes. kitorang sampai dkat2 kul 8.30 -.- naik kematu tutttt sbb tunggu wahaha xD and well, as i expected, memang tangguh lagi lah sampai 24 September 2013 gara-gara hamba Allah yang sorang tu takde. buat hal lagi diaaa~! ishh!

aku taktau la pesal susah sangat nak duk diam kat rumah sampai kes habis -.- menyusahkan orang tau nak ulang alik naik court macam ni. org bercerai pun tak naik court lama2 macam ni. dah dkat 6 bulan benda ni. kalau tunggu next punya bicara, dah 7 bulan. sampai bila nak tangguh2 ... sampai setahun? dua tahun? pergh tak sanggup gua. banyak lg benda aku nk uruskan. study aku lagi. class2 aku, yg bakal bermula tak lama lagi. hurrmmmmm

berleter kejap.

anyway, peguam tadi tukar. peguam lain yg handle. sebelum ni perempuan, india, yang tadi, lelaki, india jugak. rupanya suami dia hehehe~ sweetnya laki bini dua2 law kahkahkah tiberrr -.- aku suka cara dia handle, nampak yakin dan bersemangat dan bijak dan smart. banding ngan isteri dia, jenis senyap sikit. apa hakim cakap, dia iakan je. yang laki ni, dia banyak cakap jugak. macam nak buat rayuan semua tu.

pastu ada berita yang aku rasa menyenangkan jugaklah bagi aku ...

"Nanti saya buat rayuan, kita buat deal dengan mahkamah macam ni, kalau nak Amir mengaku salah, benarkan buang kes adik awak dulu. selagi mahkamah tak benarkan buang kes adik awak, selagi tu kita tak benarkan Amir mengaku salah. sebab adik awak tak buat hal lain kan. bla bla bla ..."

Amir tu hamba Allah yang bijak sana sini tu lah. dengarnya dia nak mengaku sebab dah berapa kali kena tangkap, pastu kena jamin. mentang2 bapak dia kaya. senang2 jamin. perghh aku nak jamin pun kena MEMINJAM dari orang............. sobs

centu aa cite dia. hurrrmmm aku mengharapkan berita baik dalam 2-3-4 bulan ni. kalau boleh, biarlah selesai. biarlah adik aku tu diberi kebebasan sepenuhnya. walaupun dia tu kadang2 memang degil nak mam, tapi aku tak sanggup lah nk tengok dia masuk balik . . . .

lepas dah habis tu, bergerak lah nak pergi cari teksi balik. kena jalan kaki ke tempat teksi. pergh dah lah kaki gua sakit. memang terhincut2 lah. sempat singgah farmasi dulu beli plaster buat sementara. huhu~

dah sampai rumah, baru ibu call. aku takde kredit so mmg takleh nak kabo pape kat sesape. then, tetiba ibu tanya,

"kakak, kakak tak ingat ke hari ni hari apa?"

aku dah pelik. garu-garu kepala, pastu ingat balik tarikh.

20 August 2013.

Perghhh, camne aku bleh lupa birthday ibuuuuuuuuu iskkkk *nangis*

hahaha, aku pulak yang nangis. serius tak ingat langsung. sebulan yang lalu, aku ingat sbb boleh pulak ckp kat ibu, "kes tangguh sampai hari jadi ibu nanti." sekali kauuuu, tiba hari ni, aku sendiri lupa -.- *dushhh dushhhh* aku dok fikir bicara bicara bicara jeeeeeeee sampai lupa benda lain. teruk gile T^T

huhuhu~ mmg mintak maaf beribu kali ah. dahlah takde kredit. pastu tak save tarikh tu kat fon. wahaha aku mmg tak pernah save birthday org kat fon. sama ada aku ingat dlm kepala atau aku mmg tak ingat langsung. kahkahkah

rindu yang teramat kat ibu. tapi nak wat acane ... insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki, hari raya AidilAdha nanti balik ah sane. wiwiwii ameen~

nk tido bru wish lagi skali :3

k tu je nak cerita untuk hari ni. balik, terus rehat atas katil. bukan tido ye~ rehat je. hehehehe~ alright, jumpa di entri yang lain. take care! xoxo

Salam Aidilfitri!

Assalamualaikum :)

Rasanya belum terlambat kot nak ucapkan salam aidilfitri kepada semua pembaca-pembaca (poyo gile) blog saya yang tak seberapa ni. HAHAH maaf zahir dan batin! semoga Aidilfitri pada tahun ini membawa seribu makna buat awak2 dan keluarga awak2 sekalian. insyaAllah :)

Sebenarnya aku baru balik dari melawat cousin aku...... sedih sebenarnya tengok diorang yang tak dapat beraya dengan keluarga masing2. actually ni plan last minit, semalam baru ibu bagitau nak datang sini nak pergi melawat Herry. dengan maklang skali. so aku pun okay jelah. ingatkan tak payah ikut, sbb Ejad ade. rupanya Ejad kerja shift pagi, so nak taknak mmg aku terpaksa ikut sbb ibu taktau jalan ke situ.

Dengan tak berapa sihatnye, aku pun ikut jelah. gerak awal pagi tadi. sampai2 je, memang penuh gile orang kat situ. seluruh kaum kerabat dorang bawak. al-maklumlah hari raya kan. ada yang datang sedondon macam ada kenduri kahwin HAHAH

Sampai je kat situ terus g daftar. selalunya sebelum pintu masuk dah kena buat pendaftaran tapi untuk raya ni, pendaftaran dorang buat kat dalam. maybe sebab ramai en. pastu tunggu lah sampai nama maklang kena panggil.

Then bila nama maklang dah kena panggil, kitorang pergi ah tengok. tapi dok cari2, takde pun cousin aku tu. pelik aaa sbb nama dah kena panggil tapi orangnye takde. dok ke hulu ke hilir bertanya kat warden2 kat situ. last2 pergi balik tempat pendaftaran. pastu pegawai tu kata cousin aku belum dipanggil -___-" kekdahnya kesian maklang aku, kena tunggu lagi. cemane lak bleh panggil nama maklang aku sedangkan cousin aku belum sampai tempat melawat tu -.-

Pastu kena tunggu lagi. kul 1 lebih camtu baru bleh jumpa. tu pun ke hulu ke hilir dok cari dia. sebab selalunya melawat kat bahagian lain, hari ni kat bahagian lain plak. pastu takde org bgtau plak tu. kesian maklang aku. huhu

Waktu jumpa dia tu, nampak laa badan dia berisi sikit dari dulu. dah lama aku tak pergi melawat sbb slalunya Ejad pergi ngan kawan dia je. tapi aku tak cakap pun laa ngan dia, segan HAHA tah pape je -_- dah jumpa tu apa lagi, depa pakat teriak laaa. sayu gila tengokkkkk zzzz

Aku dok maen ngan adik aku yang laki kecik dua orang tu je. haha tak sanggup kot tengok. kesiannnn T.T cemanaa aaa orang2 yang buat jenayah semua tu tak fikir ke pasal makpak dorang. bila dah jadi macam ni baru nak menyesal bagai pun tak guna dah.......

Hehe. papepun alhamdulillah dapat gak jumpa ibu ngan maklang tadi. ngan adik2 aku. lama tak jumpa. last tahun lepas waktu raya AidilAdha. insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki tahun ni punya AidilAdha pun nak balik sana. rindu kat tok ngan orang kampung. sobs sobs.

Anyway, yang masih beraya tu, teruskan lah beraya. teruskan budaya ziarah-menziarahi antara umat Islam. yang plan nak buat open house tu, jemput2 la HAHA cehwah, takde aaa. gurau je. Last but not least, Happy Eidulfitr to all Muslims around the world. Maafkan kesilapan saya andai ada yang terlanjur mana-mana. kosong-kosong ehh hak2

simple kan kite? hik2

take care uols. selamat menggemukkan diri semua! assalamualaikum~ ^^

Honesty Hour

Bismillah ...

*triple check tengok calendar*
Today is 6 August 2013.
6 August 2013.
6 August 2013.

One year had passed. :-)

This entry is specially made for someone whom I have known for exactly one year, since 6 August 2012. Well you know who you are :3

Ehem.

Dear you,

The previous day was one of my bad days. where honestly I was thinking of letting everything go. due to my problems, which lead to these feelings - insecure, unwanted, annoying, not qualified - for ya. and so, i decided to tell them to you first, at least you could know what bothers me. and probably to relieve this not-good-enough feeling.

so i took a risk (poyyoo enough) and i gave you two questions, it's actually a single question though, the difference was question one was asked before I allow you to read my previous entry which I have drafted it back for some reasons, and the second question was asked after you read the entry. but you did answer the first question only right :p it's okay, your second answer is perhaps the same as the first one. or it is not? ._.

Honestly that not-good-enough feeling has haunted me for the past few months, since the first semester break in January 2013. I did tell this to my roommate, Hazirah 'cause I can't keep it by myself. yet I was afraid to tell ya the truth. and it all comes to only one reason causing to this feeling. it is >>> my family background.

Well if you remember, there was a day when I asked you, "what if your family knows about my family background, can they accept them?" If I'm not mistaken, I asked that on 13 December 2013 - during the confession day lol (''')(''') and your answer did ease me at that time. and I thought I could forget the feeling. but as the day goes on, there are too many tests He gave me, on my family, which keeps the feeling to stay in my mind.

Well, woman is the only creature who really loves to over think. I admit that -.-

And then there were the days where you left me. It was on the end of March to April 2013. Naah, I'm not going to say anything about my feelings at that time 'cause I know you might probably had known them. or you do not? ._. hahaha. I did update them in my blog. well, there's nothing much I could say 'cause to be truth, I've already expect that to happen. and to be truth once again, I've been thinking of doing the same thing >>> letting you go, and the reason is still the same >>> i'm not good enough for ya.

This not-good-enough feeling really kills me -,-

But I don't know, somehow when you made that decision first, it was so hard for me to accept the truth and to live my days normally. though I was thinking of doing the same thing, but I keep asking myself, is this really happen? Waking up everyday asking myself the same question, going to sleep, still asking myself the same question. lol xD

And then the days passed. I realized, during that period of time I learnt how to survive when you're not around. In fact, I should have learn that from the start. because people come and go whenever they want, that's a harsh truth that everyone should accept :-)

*take a deep breath*

Dear you,

I still remembered the first time that we started talking. It's funny to remember those moments. I could smile constantly right now thinking bout that. lol. how come from accidentally posted on someone's wall to check whether his friend has twins or not >>> and then becoming someone who is important in my life today. well I have to admit, sometimes the best things in life are the most unexpected. ^.^

And it's one of the best feelings to realize that among those girls that you've met and talked to, or probably never talked to, you choose to talk to me first and you choose to keep those promises, with me. arigatou gozaimasu :-)

For all the times that we spend together, you waited for hours, you listen to my stories, you gave me advises, you made me smile, those memories, those answers, those confessions, thank you :-)

I might not say often but I truly appreciate what you have done for me. You taught me lot of things, too many things, within this one year. and a simple "thank you" is probably the weakest sign of appreciation I could ever give. Gomen ne >.<

and also ...
Sorry for any harsh words that I've ever throw to you after all these while. Sorry if I've ever break your heart into pieces. Sorry if I've ever made you cry. and Sorry if I've ever made you feel disappointed with my behavior. I am really sorry.

I've promised myself that I would change to a better person and it's not easy but at the same time, it is still possible to do so. Do encourage me and remind me a lot about everything that I should do to change, and please correct me if any of my actions are wrong, well if you don't mind :-) 

I pray for your success and happiness with whoever that Allah has decided to be your halalmate one day. we planned things together, but Allah is the best planner. may He bless you everyday every seconds. insyaAllah :-)

Ehem.

:-)

fuh. penat karang ayat. mimpi apa tah speaking bagai. pui

anyway, I have a lot of confessions to be told buttttt buttttttt I can't tell them here, and I can't tell them now. soooooooo, it will come out randomly I guess, through my tweets, or ... random talks or ... errr. whatever. later, one day. or ... maybe when I'm ready -_- hahaha. gile

that's all. thanks readers. salam 6 August! bhahahah bye assalamualaikum :D

p/s: Em, awak! mekaseh sebab sudi sabar ketika membaca entri yang panjang melebar ini. kalau boleh, jagakan hati tu *tunjuk ke hati awak* untuk saya, dan saya akan jagakan hati ni *tunjuk ke hati saya* untuk awak. insyaAllah. jumpa dalam tautan hati, fi hifzillah <3 douzo arigatou gozaimasu! :-)