But hey, it'll be okay soon.
Because true friends stay forever,
beyond words,
beyond distances
and beyond time :)
 |
| That one best friend you miss :) |
Saturday 20 December 2014
That feeling.
That feeling when you realized that there's been this some kind of distances between you and your best friends. Because you're busy with your own business and she's busy as well. So you guys seldom see each other anymore. It's hard. It's hard because you'll be missing them more than anything. You miss talking to them, being with them, laughing and hanging out with them whenever you wanted to...
But hey, it'll be okay soon.
Because true friends stay forever,
beyond words,
beyond distances
and beyond time :)
But hey, it'll be okay soon.
Because true friends stay forever,
beyond words,
beyond distances
and beyond time :)
Tuesday 4 November 2014
Wednesday 8 October 2014
Tuesday 16 September 2014
Nak buat luahan hati.
Aku rasa sem ni lain sangat. Semuanya lain. Taktau nak describe semua tu macam mana tapi feeling masuk sem baru tahun tiga ni memang lain.
First maybe sebab abah takde. Rasa macam sunyi gila. Nak mengadu itu ini tak boleh. Tapi benda ni memang tak boleh nak buat apa. Memang rasa cam useless gila tak mampu nak buat apa. No solution.
Secondly, aku asyik tidur je. Sejak balik dari ukm haritu. Maybe sebab takde keje lagi, atau maybe jugak sebab semua class aku pagi, pukul 8 everyday except rabu pukul 9. Tu pun pagi jugak. Or maybe sebab duduk bilik single, bosan takde orang nak borak. Or maybe jugak sebab letih tetiap petang berada di stadium atau court. Or maybe sebab banyak sangat benda aku fikir sampai rasa nak shut down. Entah, taktau mana satu punca. Ke semua?
I don't know whether I can survive this semester or not. Macam terkejut gak laa first day and second day kuliah terus buat quiz last week. Lepastu lecturer pulak semua macam scary gila this sem sebab suka cakap pasal ramai orang fail subjek ni la apa la, awal2 dah bagi mood down =.=
I can't imagine how my study week would be kalau keadaan ni berterusan (selalu tidur)
Thirdly, rasa macam ada kekosongan dalam hidup. Ada something yang hilang tapi aku taktau apa. Will figure it out soon insyaAllah. Tu pun kalau ada masa nak fikir. Sebab banyak benda lain nak kena fikir. Eh aku ni memang suka berfikir ke camne *rambut gugur*
Rasa nak taip banyak lagi tapi susah. Sebab taktau nak describe rasa ni macam mana. Lol. *flip table*
Terlebih sensitif.
Semoga cepat menemui jalan pulang. Aku ada dua sem je nak betulkan semua. Nak grad dengan pointer atas 3. Nak survive dengan baik.
I wanna be happy, again.
Keep on surviving, dear self.
Aku rasa sem ni lain sangat. Semuanya lain. Taktau nak describe semua tu macam mana tapi feeling masuk sem baru tahun tiga ni memang lain.
First maybe sebab abah takde. Rasa macam sunyi gila. Nak mengadu itu ini tak boleh. Tapi benda ni memang tak boleh nak buat apa. Memang rasa cam useless gila tak mampu nak buat apa. No solution.
Secondly, aku asyik tidur je. Sejak balik dari ukm haritu. Maybe sebab takde keje lagi, atau maybe jugak sebab semua class aku pagi, pukul 8 everyday except rabu pukul 9. Tu pun pagi jugak. Or maybe sebab duduk bilik single, bosan takde orang nak borak. Or maybe jugak sebab letih tetiap petang berada di stadium atau court. Or maybe sebab banyak sangat benda aku fikir sampai rasa nak shut down. Entah, taktau mana satu punca. Ke semua?
I don't know whether I can survive this semester or not. Macam terkejut gak laa first day and second day kuliah terus buat quiz last week. Lepastu lecturer pulak semua macam scary gila this sem sebab suka cakap pasal ramai orang fail subjek ni la apa la, awal2 dah bagi mood down =.=
I can't imagine how my study week would be kalau keadaan ni berterusan (selalu tidur)
Thirdly, rasa macam ada kekosongan dalam hidup. Ada something yang hilang tapi aku taktau apa. Will figure it out soon insyaAllah. Tu pun kalau ada masa nak fikir. Sebab banyak benda lain nak kena fikir. Eh aku ni memang suka berfikir ke camne *rambut gugur*
Rasa nak taip banyak lagi tapi susah. Sebab taktau nak describe rasa ni macam mana. Lol. *flip table*
Terlebih sensitif.
Semoga cepat menemui jalan pulang. Aku ada dua sem je nak betulkan semua. Nak grad dengan pointer atas 3. Nak survive dengan baik.
I wanna be happy, again.
Keep on surviving, dear self.
Monday 8 September 2014
Say hello to my final year
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh!
Lamanya tak jenguk blogggggggg hoi last entri hujung bulan 6. Sekarang dah bulan 9. Bukan apa, macam biasa ah kat rumah tu mana ada keneksyen yg membolehkan aku untuk update blog. Ade tu ade, kalau nak bukak hotspot dari fon tapi aku taklah serajin tu nak amek data pass pastu nak bukak hotspot bagai. Sebab aku tau aku akan end up di youtube jugak akhirnya. Muahahaha
Okay panjang lebar plak alasan dia.
Anyway, life has been very hard for me even time orang tengah bersuka ria cuti sem. Well, ujian dari Dia takkan pernah habis selagi Dia sayang pada aku dan kau semua. So, what to do? Trust Him and have faith. That's all.
Tapi nak taknak, hidup perlu diteruskan. Pendaftaran ke UKM pun takkan cancel walau ribut melanda maka, aku menguatkan diri jugak untuk pulang semula ke teratak sendiri di Kolej Aminuddin Baki walaupun berat sangat hati ni nak tinggal adik2.
So cerita dia, abang sedara aku lah yang janji nak hantar hari Ahad (semalam) ni. Janjinya pukul 9 pagi dah start angkat2 barang dan pergi daftar semua lah. Tapi cerita dia lagi, mamat ni nyenyak pulak dibuai mimpi indah sampai lah pukul 2 petang........
...............
Hahaha, sakit jiwa aku ni ha menunggu orang. Haihh. Dengan adik lelaki yang susah gila nak kejut, susah gilaaaaa. Kalau kau rasa susah nak kejut aku, kau akan rasa susah-nak-mampos kalau kejut dia. Ya ampun, rasa nak simbah air aje.
Lalu tanpa menunggu mamat dua ketul ni bangun tidur, aku dengan adik perempuan aku pun membawa lah diri ke KAB UKM naik vrooommm vroommm muahahaha
Daftar lebih kurang pukul 11.45 pagi camtu lah. Hampir je nak masuk waktu rehat pendaftaran. Nasib baik dapat kunci dan dapat blok yang aku nak. Tapi kena bayar RM25 untuk...... Taktau untuk apa pffttt UKM memang Universiti Kuat Makan duit student.
Pastu pergi lah check bilik. Bukak je pintu, aku dengan adik macam....... ni bilik ke stor?
Habuk like... in every inches of the room kot. Pijak tikar pun boleh terasa debu dia. Pergi dekat meja, terkopak2 sikit kat hujung, dan banyak tahi cicak. Bukak pulak kipas, berterabur tahi cicak. Tilam pun berhabuk, bawah katil lagi lah takyah citer lah sakit jiwa. Argghhh hahahahaha memang aku dah redha gila laa dapat bilik camni en. Almari dia je yang lawa pun sebab besar dan bersih, ada laa sawang sikit je.
Dah tengok bilik, balik la rumah. Sepanjang on the way balik tu aku dok fikir, dari mana lah aku nak start kemas. Buntu. Sampai tak sedar aku bawak moto slow jugak laa. Sampai adik aku tegur, "Kak, kenapa hang bawak slow sangat?" Hahahahahah jawapan aku senang je, "Aku tengah berfikir ni." Hahaha
Tapi tak jadi balik terus, aku melencong pergi cari pembalut hadiah dengan kertas warna dulu. Sebab aku perlu hias bilik tu at least sikit supaya aku tak rasa muram sepanjang sem hahahaha
Time balik tu, dua ketul mamat tu masih lena diulit mimpi. So aku pun malas nak tunggu depa bangun, aku amek mop, penyapu sume, kertas warna dgn wrapper yg aku beli tu, skali dengan baldi aku usung naik moto. Adik aku lah pegang. Hahaha maka bermulalah sesi 'membasuh' bilik ni sampai bersih.
Mula dengan kipas, lepastu katil, meja, dinding, sume aku bersihkan dari bendasing yang ada. Sapu semua dan kemudian mop. Dengan meja semua aku lap jugak. Wuish debu dia sampai terbersin2. Peluh jangan cerita lah, boleh perah dlm baldi hahahahahaha k over
Lepas dah kering semua, barulah aku balut meja, tampal kertas warna kat dinding dengan balut board. Sementara menunggu luggage dengan barang lain sampai ah. Tu pun waktu aku call Ejad, dia kata nak datang malam pulakkk. Memang aku angin betul sebab banyak benda tak kemas lagi. Aku suruh jugak datang petang tu.
Dalam kul 4 petang camtu, baru barang sampai. Nasib baik dorang tolong angkat sampai bilik muahahaha takde ah penat sangat. Siap belikan milo ais sebagai penyejuk hati. Hahaha rezekiiii.
Then bermulalah pula sesi unpack barang sume. So in the end, beginilah lebih kurang bilik aku,
Tu gambar dari insta. Gambar ori aku dah TERdelete plak sebab tak terfikir nak update blog sebenarnya. Tak suka simpan gambar tak penting hahahah
Dinding tu tampal sendiri, meja pun berbalut dah, sem ni tukar mood plak tak bawak bear besar, bawak bear panjang buat bantal peluk heheheh board tu plak bakal dipenuhkan dengan gambar lagi nanti lepas aku bawa ke kedai untuk dicuci :)
Bilik ni lepas kemas letak tikar sume nampak okay sikit lah. Selesa jugak walaupun susah gak nak tidur semalam sebab katil rendah sangat. Ceh padahal kau pun sama je rendah Zani oi -.-
Okay macam panjang lebar plak cerita kan hahaha pasal bilik baru je punnnn. Azam pun baru. Tapi rahciew. Hahahahaha nak accomplish sendiri. Kalau dah berjaya baru aku uar-uarkan kayyy
Okay lah nak ke stadium dengan ex-rumet dulu. Till we meet again :) Muah ciked! Bye assalamualaikum ^^
Lamanya tak jenguk blogggggggg hoi last entri hujung bulan 6. Sekarang dah bulan 9. Bukan apa, macam biasa ah kat rumah tu mana ada keneksyen yg membolehkan aku untuk update blog. Ade tu ade, kalau nak bukak hotspot dari fon tapi aku taklah serajin tu nak amek data pass pastu nak bukak hotspot bagai. Sebab aku tau aku akan end up di youtube jugak akhirnya. Muahahaha
Okay panjang lebar plak alasan dia.
Anyway, life has been very hard for me even time orang tengah bersuka ria cuti sem. Well, ujian dari Dia takkan pernah habis selagi Dia sayang pada aku dan kau semua. So, what to do? Trust Him and have faith. That's all.
Tapi nak taknak, hidup perlu diteruskan. Pendaftaran ke UKM pun takkan cancel walau ribut melanda maka, aku menguatkan diri jugak untuk pulang semula ke teratak sendiri di Kolej Aminuddin Baki walaupun berat sangat hati ni nak tinggal adik2.
So cerita dia, abang sedara aku lah yang janji nak hantar hari Ahad (semalam) ni. Janjinya pukul 9 pagi dah start angkat2 barang dan pergi daftar semua lah. Tapi cerita dia lagi, mamat ni nyenyak pulak dibuai mimpi indah sampai lah pukul 2 petang........
...............
Hahaha, sakit jiwa aku ni ha menunggu orang. Haihh. Dengan adik lelaki yang susah gila nak kejut, susah gilaaaaa. Kalau kau rasa susah nak kejut aku, kau akan rasa susah-nak-mampos kalau kejut dia. Ya ampun, rasa nak simbah air aje.
Lalu tanpa menunggu mamat dua ketul ni bangun tidur, aku dengan adik perempuan aku pun membawa lah diri ke KAB UKM naik vrooommm vroommm muahahaha
Daftar lebih kurang pukul 11.45 pagi camtu lah. Hampir je nak masuk waktu rehat pendaftaran. Nasib baik dapat kunci dan dapat blok yang aku nak. Tapi kena bayar RM25 untuk...... Taktau untuk apa pffttt UKM memang Universiti Kuat Makan duit student.
Pastu pergi lah check bilik. Bukak je pintu, aku dengan adik macam....... ni bilik ke stor?
Habuk like... in every inches of the room kot. Pijak tikar pun boleh terasa debu dia. Pergi dekat meja, terkopak2 sikit kat hujung, dan banyak tahi cicak. Bukak pulak kipas, berterabur tahi cicak. Tilam pun berhabuk, bawah katil lagi lah takyah citer lah sakit jiwa. Argghhh hahahahaha memang aku dah redha gila laa dapat bilik camni en. Almari dia je yang lawa pun sebab besar dan bersih, ada laa sawang sikit je.
Dah tengok bilik, balik la rumah. Sepanjang on the way balik tu aku dok fikir, dari mana lah aku nak start kemas. Buntu. Sampai tak sedar aku bawak moto slow jugak laa. Sampai adik aku tegur, "Kak, kenapa hang bawak slow sangat?" Hahahahahah jawapan aku senang je, "Aku tengah berfikir ni." Hahaha
Tapi tak jadi balik terus, aku melencong pergi cari pembalut hadiah dengan kertas warna dulu. Sebab aku perlu hias bilik tu at least sikit supaya aku tak rasa muram sepanjang sem hahahaha
Time balik tu, dua ketul mamat tu masih lena diulit mimpi. So aku pun malas nak tunggu depa bangun, aku amek mop, penyapu sume, kertas warna dgn wrapper yg aku beli tu, skali dengan baldi aku usung naik moto. Adik aku lah pegang. Hahaha maka bermulalah sesi 'membasuh' bilik ni sampai bersih.
Mula dengan kipas, lepastu katil, meja, dinding, sume aku bersihkan dari bendasing yang ada. Sapu semua dan kemudian mop. Dengan meja semua aku lap jugak. Wuish debu dia sampai terbersin2. Peluh jangan cerita lah, boleh perah dlm baldi hahahahahaha k over
Lepas dah kering semua, barulah aku balut meja, tampal kertas warna kat dinding dengan balut board. Sementara menunggu luggage dengan barang lain sampai ah. Tu pun waktu aku call Ejad, dia kata nak datang malam pulakkk. Memang aku angin betul sebab banyak benda tak kemas lagi. Aku suruh jugak datang petang tu.
Dalam kul 4 petang camtu, baru barang sampai. Nasib baik dorang tolong angkat sampai bilik muahahaha takde ah penat sangat. Siap belikan milo ais sebagai penyejuk hati. Hahaha rezekiiii.
Then bermulalah pula sesi unpack barang sume. So in the end, beginilah lebih kurang bilik aku,
Tu gambar dari insta. Gambar ori aku dah TERdelete plak sebab tak terfikir nak update blog sebenarnya. Tak suka simpan gambar tak penting hahahah
Dinding tu tampal sendiri, meja pun berbalut dah, sem ni tukar mood plak tak bawak bear besar, bawak bear panjang buat bantal peluk heheheh board tu plak bakal dipenuhkan dengan gambar lagi nanti lepas aku bawa ke kedai untuk dicuci :)
Bilik ni lepas kemas letak tikar sume nampak okay sikit lah. Selesa jugak walaupun susah gak nak tidur semalam sebab katil rendah sangat. Ceh padahal kau pun sama je rendah Zani oi -.-
Okay macam panjang lebar plak cerita kan hahaha pasal bilik baru je punnnn. Azam pun baru. Tapi rahciew. Hahahahaha nak accomplish sendiri. Kalau dah berjaya baru aku uar-uarkan kayyy
Okay lah nak ke stadium dengan ex-rumet dulu. Till we meet again :) Muah ciked! Bye assalamualaikum ^^
Wednesday 25 June 2014
Late night thoughts
Have you ever heard that real thoughts come out of people's mind after midnight, around 2 am and above? Iyeap, it is. It's when everybody has fallen asleep and there you go, sitting or even laying on your bed, having thousands of thoughts that slowly breaks you inside.
It's the time when your hidden scars slowly showed itself and you can still feel the pain somehow. It's when you feel like nobody's going to care about whatever that you're going through in life. It's all the real thoughts that you keep all by yourself so that you won't make others feel guilty.
It's that night (or morning) when you realize that you have gone through loads of things that somehow makes you stronger, even though it's been hard to pass through it all. It's the night when you're having a self reflection on all of your actions including the stupidest actions that you've ever did.
3.37 a.m and I'm still awake, having this kind of thoughts maybe? :/
Lol. Noooo, I'm noootttt having those thoughts ... maybe? :/
Lol again.
I guess that's why all parents in the world taught their children to sleep early since they were small right? But nowadays who would sleep early when the internet gives them pleasure to stay awake rather than to sleep? And they'll wake up tomorrow morning, complaining. True story.
......
Girls overthink. That's all I can say. And overthinking kills so don't overthink. But, you'll definitely be like :
Do not overthink ...
Do not overthink ...
Do not overthink ...
Do not ... Shit
I am not overthinking though :p (a serious statement) It's just that everytime I'm about to sleep, I would think of everything that happened to me on that day. It's like a routine to reflect what I've done today and what makes me happy and sad and so on.
Some of the real simple sadness is when people don't reply your WhatsApp or your text, or they do reply but it was a cold reply. It's called sadness when you planned to hangout with some of your friends and you got real excited and those plans end up cancelled due to some reasonable excuses. It's sadness when you were about to eat something that you've been craving for months but you got no money to buy them or when you do, the stalls were closed.
Meanwhile, some real simple happiness is when someone compliments you, on what you wear or how do you look like in a day. It's happiness when you got time to relax after a long tiring day plus having sweet dreams. It's happiness when someone took your 2 seconds to read a real sweet text. It's happiness when you see your parents smile when you make jokes. It's happiness when you feed some of the random cats or even your own pet.
The examples are really small, simple, little things right but they do bring effects to your heart. :)
Everybody loves happiness and nobody loves sadness. So what we gotta do to get rid of those sadness ? It is ...
Some unnecessary feelings are meant to be deleted. Like what -- guilty when you don't please people because from the moment you are alive, you're not meant to please people with your actions. Just be the real you. If people like it then that's fine and even if people don't like you, then let them be.
"You end up real disappointed when you go through life thinking people have the same heart as you."
Something to ponder upon. :)
It's the time when your hidden scars slowly showed itself and you can still feel the pain somehow. It's when you feel like nobody's going to care about whatever that you're going through in life. It's all the real thoughts that you keep all by yourself so that you won't make others feel guilty.
It's that night (or morning) when you realize that you have gone through loads of things that somehow makes you stronger, even though it's been hard to pass through it all. It's the night when you're having a self reflection on all of your actions including the stupidest actions that you've ever did.
3.37 a.m and I'm still awake, having this kind of thoughts maybe? :/
Lol. Noooo, I'm noootttt having those thoughts ... maybe? :/
Lol again.
I guess that's why all parents in the world taught their children to sleep early since they were small right? But nowadays who would sleep early when the internet gives them pleasure to stay awake rather than to sleep? And they'll wake up tomorrow morning, complaining. True story.
......
Girls overthink. That's all I can say. And overthinking kills so don't overthink. But, you'll definitely be like :
Do not overthink ...
Do not overthink ...
Do not overthink ...
Do not ... Shit
I am not overthinking though :p (a serious statement) It's just that everytime I'm about to sleep, I would think of everything that happened to me on that day. It's like a routine to reflect what I've done today and what makes me happy and sad and so on.
Some of the real simple sadness is when people don't reply your WhatsApp or your text, or they do reply but it was a cold reply. It's called sadness when you planned to hangout with some of your friends and you got real excited and those plans end up cancelled due to some reasonable excuses. It's sadness when you were about to eat something that you've been craving for months but you got no money to buy them or when you do, the stalls were closed.
Meanwhile, some real simple happiness is when someone compliments you, on what you wear or how do you look like in a day. It's happiness when you got time to relax after a long tiring day plus having sweet dreams. It's happiness when someone took your 2 seconds to read a real sweet text. It's happiness when you see your parents smile when you make jokes. It's happiness when you feed some of the random cats or even your own pet.
The examples are really small, simple, little things right but they do bring effects to your heart. :)
Everybody loves happiness and nobody loves sadness. So what we gotta do to get rid of those sadness ? It is ...
Some unnecessary feelings are meant to be deleted. Like what -- guilty when you don't please people because from the moment you are alive, you're not meant to please people with your actions. Just be the real you. If people like it then that's fine and even if people don't like you, then let them be.
"You end up real disappointed when you go through life thinking people have the same heart as you."
- Farah Shazleen
Something to ponder upon. :)
Tuesday 17 June 2014
#GER 4-0 #POR
Hello! Sape tengok game semalam? Sape tengok sape tengoookkkkkkk??? K over.
Semalam berlangsungnya match football ke berapa entah untuk merebut Piala Dunia 2014, iaitu game Germany vs. Portugal. Match yang semalam ni lah dikatakan match paling ditunggu-tunggu sebab melibatkan dua pasukan yang boleh kata kuat juga lah. Sape sokong Germany meh sep sikiittt hehe
It was a good match though, tak menyesal stay up walaupun hakikatnya hari ni aku ada paper. Memula ingatkan tak dapat la nak tengok game first Germany sbb ada paper lepastu tetiba kebetulan pulak Ifolio UKM tak boleh bukak malam tadi so notes untuk paper hari ni tak dapat download maka apa lagi, fokus kat bola je ah :p
Start je match, baru minit ke berapa entah, Khedira dah start tunjuk belang dia. Hampiirrr sangat nak goal, sipi kena tiang. Time tu debor dia takyah cakap ah. Memang debor betul. Bila Thomas Muller dah muller-kan goal (penalti) haaa time tu lagi debor. Sebab apa? Sebab takut ngat jadi macam 5PA1N awal2 goal last2 lauk KAHKAHKAHKAH maafkan saya...............
Dan kemudian berkembang lah pula dengan goal kedua dari Muller lagi dan goal ketiga dari Hummel yang humble dan keempat dari Muller juga. Thomas Muller memang power. Dia yang muller muller goalkan dan dia juga lah yang menghabiskan goal keempat untuk Germany. Salam 4-0!
Sebenarnya nak expresskan rasa kasihan kepada CR7 sebab muka dia sangat menyedihkan semalam. Muka dia penat gila (tapi tetap handsome) dan team dia macam, "Whatever it is, pass the ball to CR." Semua mengharapkan dia.... Sorry cakap tapi defend Portugal teruk gila berterabur. Meanwhile Germany punya team masing2 memang jaga gila territory masing2.
Taktau lah maybe memang takde rezeki untuk Portugal. Tapi serius, kesian gila kat CR.Dah lah first half si Pepe kena red card. Tinggal seploh orang je main, lawan seblas orang. Double kasihan. And to Pepe, go home dude you're drunk. Lulz
Marco Reus must be happy to see his team winning the match. It'll be perfect if he could play along tapi apa boleh buat. Get well soon kaki tu hehehehe
And hence, congratulations to my team for winning and sorry, please try later untuk team Four-to-girl. KAHKAH permulaan yang baik untuk #GER
Looking forward to #GER next match on 22nd June 2014, vs. Ghana. May the luck be with them!
Till then :)
 |
| A friendly match between two bestfriends (I guess) |
It was a good match though, tak menyesal stay up walaupun hakikatnya hari ni aku ada paper. Memula ingatkan tak dapat la nak tengok game first Germany sbb ada paper lepastu tetiba kebetulan pulak Ifolio UKM tak boleh bukak malam tadi so notes untuk paper hari ni tak dapat download maka apa lagi, fokus kat bola je ah :p
Start je match, baru minit ke berapa entah, Khedira dah start tunjuk belang dia. Hampiirrr sangat nak goal, sipi kena tiang. Time tu debor dia takyah cakap ah. Memang debor betul. Bila Thomas Muller dah muller-kan goal (penalti) haaa time tu lagi debor. Sebab apa? Sebab takut ngat jadi macam 5PA1N awal2 goal last2 lauk KAHKAHKAHKAH maafkan saya...............
Dan kemudian berkembang lah pula dengan goal kedua dari Muller lagi dan goal ketiga dari Hummel yang humble dan keempat dari Muller juga. Thomas Muller memang power. Dia yang muller muller goalkan dan dia juga lah yang menghabiskan goal keempat untuk Germany. Salam 4-0!
Sebenarnya nak expresskan rasa kasihan kepada CR7 sebab muka dia sangat menyedihkan semalam. Muka dia penat gila (tapi tetap handsome) dan team dia macam, "Whatever it is, pass the ball to CR." Semua mengharapkan dia.... Sorry cakap tapi defend Portugal teruk gila berterabur. Meanwhile Germany punya team masing2 memang jaga gila territory masing2.
 |
| Basically ... |
Marco Reus must be happy to see his team winning the match. It'll be perfect if he could play along tapi apa boleh buat. Get well soon kaki tu hehehehe
And hence, congratulations to my team for winning and sorry, please try later untuk team Four-to-girl. KAHKAH permulaan yang baik untuk #GER
Looking forward to #GER next match on 22nd June 2014, vs. Ghana. May the luck be with them!
Till then :)
Friday 13 June 2014
Mud Ekjem
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| Aku versi anime. Kahkah *menyorok belakang langsir* |
Jujur cakap, sem ni paling teruk. Segala-galanya teruk. Schedule class mostly start pagi sampai petang, Jumaat petang pun masih ada class sedangkan waktu tu telah masuknya waktu untuk sesetengah pelajar balik ke rumah untuk cuti hujung minggu........
Assignments yang suka datang secara berjemaah terutamanya bila dah dekat2 midtest dengan final exam. Bayangkan time study week pun ada 2 assignments to be accomplished. Memang membantu pelajar, tapi bagi aku, study week tu masa untuk study lah bukan untuk berassignment. Study week sem ni walaupun hampir 9 hari, aku rasa macam 2-3 hari je, cepat benor masa berlalu.
Dan berita paling menyayat hati sekali adalah semestinya schedule final exam aku. Nak bersedih pun rasa tak sempat sebab nak taknak memang terpaksa kentalkan diri untuk first 4 killer papers yang berderet dari 9 Jun sampai 12 Jun 2014. Ya......
Tengok tarikh hari ni, 13 Jun 2013, jam 00:25 am. Menandakan aku sudah pun menghabiskan 4 killer papers dengan jayanya. Ni lagi menyayat hati. Sebab tak sangka aku mampu bertahan selama 4 hari berturut2. Tidur takat 3 jam eleh nak ngences pun tak sempat HAHA bangun terkebil2 je mata ni ha nak bukak. Berkali2 ke toilet pastu splash air ke muka acah2 macam dalam iklan, sbb mengantuk sangat.
Alhamdulillah, nak kata yakin lepas jawab 4 papers tu, takde lah kan kang orang kata over confident plak. Bhahaha cumanya, alhamdulillah, okay laa jgak cuma stakat ni subjek yang paling tak meyakinkan adalah Kimia Koordinatan. Tu je la kot, yang lain alhamdulillah soalan2 past year yang banyak keluar. Dan aku sebenarnya menjenguk2 je past year tu, tak buat pun HAHA tapi em em, alhamdulillah jelah mampu komen.
Dan sebenarnya agak terkilan sedikit sbb jadual ni berderet. 10 Jun haritu birthday adik perempuan aku dan aku tak dapat nak balik rumah sambut dengan diorang. And aku yang paling tak prepare apa2 untuk adik aku sebab aku lupa -_____- Teruk gila rasa, dok fikir pasal final exam yang berderet sampai lupa salah satu tarikh tu adalah birthday adik aku.
Anyway, harapan aku tinggi jugak untuk sem ni. Kalau boleh nak naikkan pointer dari sem lepas, walaupun hakikatnya aku tau sem ni paling teruk pengurusan masa dan hmm taktau lah cemana. Tapi insyaAllah, setiap usaha ada ganjaran-Nya dan aku harap usaha aku berjaga malam dan sebagainya ni berbaloi lah. Memang ilmu bukan pada pointer tapi zaman sekarang ni sape je yang tak tengok pointer kan. Pastu compare2 macam mintak lempang. (Tiber emo)
So all the best kepada semua yang mengambil final exam sama seperti saya. Semoga semua usaha kita dibayar cash cash cash di dunia, kalau tak bayar cash kat dunia pun, insyaAllah ada cheque untuk ganjaran akhirat sana. Study study jugak, solat jangan lupa. Lagi2 sekarang dah Syaaban, dah boleh start bangun malam dan beribadat, biasakan diri dengan amalan sebelum menghadapi Ramadhan. Bersama-samalah kita. Hehe
Aku ada 5 papers to go lagi, minggu depan doublet of doublet, Isnin Selasa dan Khamis Jumaat. Dan minggu lagi satu, last paper hari Isnin. Moga dipermudahkan. Saat saat macam ni, doa dari ibu dan abah serta doa sahabat dalam diam amatlah diperlukan. Doa :)
Dan kemudian berholidaylah kita ke Terengganu. Yeeheeeee. Untuk apa? Jeng jeng jeng. Nanti update lagi.
Sekian, mekaseh kerana sudi menjenguk. Rindu ngat kat blog ni tapi takdak masa nak update. Ni curi masa sat. Kihkih
P/s : Musim panas terik macam ni elok jugak kalau buat agar-agar kering. Waahhh tazzabar nak buat kuih raya. Projek cuti nanti ~.~
P/s lagi : Untuk World Cup, aku sokong Germany ah cam biasaaaa. Tapi sedih sebab Reus tak main, injured. Get well soon, sayang. Eh kbai
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| Flying kiss dari jauh k. Eh eh eh |
Thursday 5 June 2014
Safe journey
Remember when I told ya I'm having this kind of dream where I cried when I woke up on the next day? Do you wanna know what those dreams are about?
I dream about my little sister and her. We were at the airport, I'm sending them at the airport. They were going somewhere. And in that dream, my little sister said that she doesn't want to follow her, but she have to. She asked me to come along but I said I can't. And she hugged me so tight that she doesn't wanna let go.
And I'm having this kind of thought about the flight, MH370 where the flight never brings its passengers back home. And I thought they won't be coming back here in Malaysia anymore. That's why the dream sadden me so much. And the same dream comes two nights in a row.
And you know what? Today, this morning to be exact, I received a message saying that they were leaving. They were leaving ... on a flight, to a place where they belong. Somewhere I can't go, I can't follow.
"Nanti Ayin umur 12 tahun, Ayin balik la sini balik."
I missed that voice, so much. And when I get to talk to her, I feel like this is going to be the last time. I don't know, maybe it's because I missed her so much and all I know on the next day is that they were leaving. My dream comes true. And it's painful enough to let go ..
I can't go see her for probably the last time. I am not allowed to. I can only hear her voice, the same little voice that I took care of since she was born.
Sigh ...
All I can do now is to pray for her to live in interesting times, may she be blessed with good health, may she always be brave, may He keep her under His protection.
Have a safe journey, dear sister.
Till we meet again, if He wills.
I dream about my little sister and her. We were at the airport, I'm sending them at the airport. They were going somewhere. And in that dream, my little sister said that she doesn't want to follow her, but she have to. She asked me to come along but I said I can't. And she hugged me so tight that she doesn't wanna let go.
And I'm having this kind of thought about the flight, MH370 where the flight never brings its passengers back home. And I thought they won't be coming back here in Malaysia anymore. That's why the dream sadden me so much. And the same dream comes two nights in a row.
And you know what? Today, this morning to be exact, I received a message saying that they were leaving. They were leaving ... on a flight, to a place where they belong. Somewhere I can't go, I can't follow.
"Nanti Ayin umur 12 tahun, Ayin balik la sini balik."
I missed that voice, so much. And when I get to talk to her, I feel like this is going to be the last time. I don't know, maybe it's because I missed her so much and all I know on the next day is that they were leaving. My dream comes true. And it's painful enough to let go ..
I can't go see her for probably the last time. I am not allowed to. I can only hear her voice, the same little voice that I took care of since she was born.
Sigh ...
All I can do now is to pray for her to live in interesting times, may she be blessed with good health, may she always be brave, may He keep her under His protection.
Have a safe journey, dear sister.
Till we meet again, if He wills.
Monday 2 June 2014
Please be well
Just a quick post about someone that crossed my mind lately.
I've been dreaming about my little sister for the past few days, if I'm not mistaken 2 nights in a row. I'm not sure if I'm the one who missed her so bad or she did.
All I know is that, the dream was a bad dream which almost, oh no, the dream makes me cry when I woke up on the next day.
I don't know if we would ever see each other again in the future, but all I wanna say is that, please be well, dear sister. Eat well, live well. I might not be there to take care of you, no longer, but whatever it is, you're still my sister and nothing can actually change that fate.
This post somehow breaks a part of my heart ...
"Apa yang kita sayang, minta Allah jaga."
I miss you, a lot.
I've been dreaming about my little sister for the past few days, if I'm not mistaken 2 nights in a row. I'm not sure if I'm the one who missed her so bad or she did.
All I know is that, the dream was a bad dream which almost, oh no, the dream makes me cry when I woke up on the next day.
I don't know if we would ever see each other again in the future, but all I wanna say is that, please be well, dear sister. Eat well, live well. I might not be there to take care of you, no longer, but whatever it is, you're still my sister and nothing can actually change that fate.
This post somehow breaks a part of my heart ...
"Apa yang kita sayang, minta Allah jaga."
I miss you, a lot.
Tuesday 22 April 2014
Random Post
Often people said ...
Yes, it is true though, "Islam tapi tak pakai tudung, baik takyah jadi Islam." But hey, pernah tak terfikir why those people blame tudung instead of the person itself? Pernah tak terfikir?
Tudung adalah salah satu cara kita tutup aurat. Tak kisah lah tudung jenis apa pun, ia berfungsi untuk menutup aurat kita terutamanya rambut. Tu baru satu cara, cara lain untuk tutup aurat pun banyak lagi. Aurat bukan dekat rambut je-- Peringatan untuk kaum Hawa
Kenapa perempuan2 free hair ni salahkan tudung instead of orang yang memakai tudung? Kenapa? Sebab bila kita dah pakai tudung, aurat dah tutup elok litup dengan stokin stongan semua, people akan pandang kita sama macam diorang pandang appearance kita. Maksudnya, kalau orang bertudung labuh, apa yang people expect from orang yang bertudung labuh ini ialah perangai yang baik, tak kata lah perlu sopan santun, tapi cukup kita kata, mempunyai perangai yang baik. Molek gitu.
Maksud molek kat sini, bukannya tiap masa kena sopan santun, tak boleh gelak kuat2, senyum pun tersipu2, no. Bukan macam tu. Maksud molek kat sini ialah perangai kita kena searas dengan cara pemakaian kita. Kita memang tak boleh nak penuhi expectation semua orang tapi kita boleh kurangkan cara pemikiran tak baik oleh mereka terhadap kita.
Contohnya, pakai tudung labuh tapi perangainya masih tidak begitu menyenangkan bagi sesetengah orang. Macam contoh kat atas tu, mencarut. Ini contoh je ye. Okay kalau secara randomnya bila kita tengok orang bertudung labuh ni, akan timbul satu rasa respect sebab dia mampu untuk memenuhi salah satu syariat yang Islam dah tetapkan. Jadi bila timbul rasa respect, kita sebenarnya pasti akan menanam satu niat untuk jadi macam diorang, walaupun niat tu kita tak tahu bila kita akan capai.
Tiba-tiba bila kita mula untuk approach atau cuba untuk minta nasihat atau kita tengok cara kehidupan seharian dia, dan bila cara yang dia gunakan tu tak menepati apa yang kita expect, mestilah kita akan rasa, "Laaaa macam ni ke perangai dia?" Mesti, setiap orang mesti akan timbul satu persoalan bila mengalami situasi yang macam ni.
What I'm trying to say is that, memang salah bila mereka menyalahkan tudung atas attitude seseorang, but most of all is that, kita yang bertudung dan yang menutup aurat sepenuhnya ini sebenarnya bertanggungjawab terhadap diri kita sendiri. Kita tak boleh biar orang cakap cakap belakang kata "Pakai tudung tapi bla bla bla." Kita tak boleh biar persepsi macam tu terus kekal dalam kalangan orang Islam sekarang ni.
So, kita yang bertudung ni kena jaga mulut, kena jaga tingkah laku. Tak semestinya kita kena sopan santun all the time but at least, tak payah buat benda buruk secara terang-terangan. Tapi tak kata pulak boleh buat buruk secara belakang, sebenarnya itu urusan kita dengan Dia sahaja sebab apa yang kita buat, semuanya Dia perhatikan. So apa yang orang sekeliling kita akan perhatikan, kita kena jaga. Jangan biar persepsi buruk terhadap orang orang bertudung yang lain terus kekal. Jangan kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga.
I'm not saying that semua yang bertudung itu baik dan semua yang free hair itu jahat. No. Because everybody has their own weaknesses, either disorok (aib) atau yang kita boleh nampak secara zahir. But whatever it is, at least yang bertudung ini ada inisiatif untuk cuba memenuhi ketetapan menutup aurat dalam Islam.
So, my point is, kalau kita yang bertudung ni tak ubah perangai kita, for sure persepsi orang yang tak bertudung terhadap orang yang bertudung akan sentiasa buruk walaupun tak semua yang kena tempiasnya. Maka, wahai saudari yang saya kasihi sekalian, tolong lah jaga tingkah laku masing-masing. As long as you tak buat sesuatu yang buruk depan orang ramai, that will be more than enough. Sila lah bantu dan pelihara nama saudara saudari dalam Islam.
P/s: It is unfair to blame all yang pakai tudung disebabkan oleh few yang berperangai 'pelik'. Islam itu mudah, tapi jangan permudahkan. Kita doakan semoga Allah memberi hidayah kepada orang-orang yang dikehendakiNya. Amin. :)
Sekian.
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| I supposed this was written for those free-hair-ladies |
Tudung adalah salah satu cara kita tutup aurat. Tak kisah lah tudung jenis apa pun, ia berfungsi untuk menutup aurat kita terutamanya rambut. Tu baru satu cara, cara lain untuk tutup aurat pun banyak lagi. Aurat bukan dekat rambut je-- Peringatan untuk kaum Hawa
Kenapa perempuan2 free hair ni salahkan tudung instead of orang yang memakai tudung? Kenapa? Sebab bila kita dah pakai tudung, aurat dah tutup elok litup dengan stokin stongan semua, people akan pandang kita sama macam diorang pandang appearance kita. Maksudnya, kalau orang bertudung labuh, apa yang people expect from orang yang bertudung labuh ini ialah perangai yang baik, tak kata lah perlu sopan santun, tapi cukup kita kata, mempunyai perangai yang baik. Molek gitu.
Maksud molek kat sini, bukannya tiap masa kena sopan santun, tak boleh gelak kuat2, senyum pun tersipu2, no. Bukan macam tu. Maksud molek kat sini ialah perangai kita kena searas dengan cara pemakaian kita. Kita memang tak boleh nak penuhi expectation semua orang tapi kita boleh kurangkan cara pemikiran tak baik oleh mereka terhadap kita.
Contohnya, pakai tudung labuh tapi perangainya masih tidak begitu menyenangkan bagi sesetengah orang. Macam contoh kat atas tu, mencarut. Ini contoh je ye. Okay kalau secara randomnya bila kita tengok orang bertudung labuh ni, akan timbul satu rasa respect sebab dia mampu untuk memenuhi salah satu syariat yang Islam dah tetapkan. Jadi bila timbul rasa respect, kita sebenarnya pasti akan menanam satu niat untuk jadi macam diorang, walaupun niat tu kita tak tahu bila kita akan capai.
Tiba-tiba bila kita mula untuk approach atau cuba untuk minta nasihat atau kita tengok cara kehidupan seharian dia, dan bila cara yang dia gunakan tu tak menepati apa yang kita expect, mestilah kita akan rasa, "Laaaa macam ni ke perangai dia?" Mesti, setiap orang mesti akan timbul satu persoalan bila mengalami situasi yang macam ni.
What I'm trying to say is that, memang salah bila mereka menyalahkan tudung atas attitude seseorang, but most of all is that, kita yang bertudung dan yang menutup aurat sepenuhnya ini sebenarnya bertanggungjawab terhadap diri kita sendiri. Kita tak boleh biar orang cakap cakap belakang kata "Pakai tudung tapi bla bla bla." Kita tak boleh biar persepsi macam tu terus kekal dalam kalangan orang Islam sekarang ni.
So, kita yang bertudung ni kena jaga mulut, kena jaga tingkah laku. Tak semestinya kita kena sopan santun all the time but at least, tak payah buat benda buruk secara terang-terangan. Tapi tak kata pulak boleh buat buruk secara belakang, sebenarnya itu urusan kita dengan Dia sahaja sebab apa yang kita buat, semuanya Dia perhatikan. So apa yang orang sekeliling kita akan perhatikan, kita kena jaga. Jangan biar persepsi buruk terhadap orang orang bertudung yang lain terus kekal. Jangan kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga.
I'm not saying that semua yang bertudung itu baik dan semua yang free hair itu jahat. No. Because everybody has their own weaknesses, either disorok (aib) atau yang kita boleh nampak secara zahir. But whatever it is, at least yang bertudung ini ada inisiatif untuk cuba memenuhi ketetapan menutup aurat dalam Islam.
So, my point is, kalau kita yang bertudung ni tak ubah perangai kita, for sure persepsi orang yang tak bertudung terhadap orang yang bertudung akan sentiasa buruk walaupun tak semua yang kena tempiasnya. Maka, wahai saudari yang saya kasihi sekalian, tolong lah jaga tingkah laku masing-masing. As long as you tak buat sesuatu yang buruk depan orang ramai, that will be more than enough. Sila lah bantu dan pelihara nama saudara saudari dalam Islam.
P/s: It is unfair to blame all yang pakai tudung disebabkan oleh few yang berperangai 'pelik'. Islam itu mudah, tapi jangan permudahkan. Kita doakan semoga Allah memberi hidayah kepada orang-orang yang dikehendakiNya. Amin. :)
Sekian.
Friday 21 March 2014
Fitrah Seorang Wanita
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,
Assalamualaikum :)
Tengok tajuk, tengok tajuk. Hahaha rasa macam besar sangat perkataan Wanita tu, macam matang sangat. Tak kisah la, ganti lah sendiri ya nak letak gadis ke perempuan ke :)
Entri kali ni mungkin agak serius. Tentang fitrah seorang wanita. Wanita dan lelaki keadaan fitrahnya berbeza, even kalau kita tengok secara fizikal pun, banyak beza antara dua jenis gender ni. Tapi sebagai seorang yang beragama Islam, kita wajib percaya bahawa Allah dah menciptakan kita sama ada lelaki atau wanita, pasti ada hikmahnya. Dia tahu, kita patut dilahirkan dalam jantina apa.
Persoalannya, kenapa agaknya masih ada malah semakin hari semakin bertambah jumlah mereka yang ingin mengubah fitrah semulajadi yang Allah dah tetapkan?
Wanita. Ada sepasang mata, satu hidung, satu mulut, sepasang telinga, sama seperti lelaki. Apa yang beza? Paling simple, suara. Suara lelaki dan wanita, beza. Kalau nak tengok mendalam lagi, kulit lelaki dan wanita, beza. Halkum, jelas kelihatan atau tidak, beza. Bentuk tubuh badan, sangat beza. Senang cerita, terlalu banyak beza lelaki dan perempuan. (Secara fizikalnya lah aku cerita ni)
Terus terang, kalau pergi mana-mana pastu terjumpa dengan golongan macam ni, cepat je mata ni tangkap, "Oh, dia ni ****** rupanya." "Oh, dia *******" kan? Sebab terlalu mudah nak tengok walau berapa banyak pun perubahan yang mereka cuba buat untuk kelihatan seperti jantina yang bertentangan dengan yang asalnya.
Aku cuma tak faham, kenapa perlu nafikan fitrah semulajadi yang Allah dah bagi. For sure, banyak sangat reasons why they became the one they thought they would never be. And one of them aku percaya adalah kerana faktor persekitaran. Mungkin ada antara kawan yang cuba nak bawa gene XY walaupun gene sebenar XX. Dan bila tengok kawan macam macho macho gitu so dia pun rasa nak ikut. But still, why? :(
Sedih sebenarnya kadang tengok mereka ni bijak bijak belaka, comel comel belaka tapi biar diri sendiri hanyut dengan suasana menjadi jantina baru, rasa bebas boleh buat apa, rasa kuat bila anggap diri tu dah macam lelaki betul. But whatever it is, kita ni fitrahnya masih perempuan.
Fuh. Okay.
--
Awak,
Nak jadi kuat bukan begitu caranya, :)
Bila awak cuba ubah fitrah yang Allah dah tetapkan, percayalah, perubahan tu takkan bawa ke mana. Sedaya upaya awak cuba ubah untuk jadi lelaki pun, awak masih perempuan. Dan awak takkan boleh ubah kenyataan tu, sampai bila-bila. Dan jangan salahkan takdir, bila segala yang awak rancang tak berjalan seperti yang awak harapkan. Sebabnya mudah, Allah tak redha.
Tak ada yang namanya perkahwinan antara perempuan dengan perempuan dalam Islam. Dan tak ada yang namanya bercinta bagai sesama perempuan, kecuali cinta itu adalah kerana Allah dan persahabatan atau ada pertalian darah contohnya cinta pada ibu kita sendiri. Bukan sebagai pasangan atau lebih. Tak ada dalam Islam, tak ada.
Awak, :)
Kembalilah. Saya percaya sahabat2 awak yang lain, yang lebih mengenali awak juga menanti diri awak yang dulu. Jangan tangisi dia yang dah pergi, awak tetap kena teruskan hidup awak walau tanpa dia. Allah sayang dia lebih dari awak, dan Allah tahu apa yang terbaik buat awak. Awak berhak untuk seorang lelaki, bukan dia.
Seharusnya dari mula awak tahu, hubungan ini tak akan ke mana. Tak akan, sampai bila-bila. Seharusnya dari mula awak tahu, Allah tak redha. Saya percaya awak lebih mengetahui dari saya. Awak pandai hal-hal agama, lebih dari saya. Dan saya tahu, Allah sedang uji awak, dan ujian-Nya amat berat untuk awak. Tapi awak tak boleh biar ujian tu mengubah hidup awak lebih dari yang sepatutnya.
Redhakan pemergian dia, awak. Biar dia tenang di sana. Anggaplah dia sebagai seorang sahabat yang baik, tidak lebih dari itu. Moga dosa-Nya diampunkan dan moga dia mendapat rahmat dari Yang Maha Esa. Lupakan masa lalu, mulakan hidup baru. Perjalanan awak masih jauh. Jika diizinkan, insyaAllah pasti bertemu jua di syurga kelak :)
--
Dan selemah-lemah iman dalam menegur kemungkaran adalah dengan membenci melihat kemungkaran yang dilakukan. Dan aku tergolong didalamnya. Nak menegur tak mampu, tak ada kuasa dan tak ada hak.
Sama-sama kita hadiahkan al-Fatihah kepada seorang kakak yang baru sahaja pergi menghadap Dia pada 19 Mac 2014 yang lalu. Moga arwah Nur Hidayah Norsham ditempatkan dalam kalangan yang beriman. Sesungguhnya mati itu sangat dekat. Sangat dekat. Al-Fatihah.
Assalamualaikum :)
Tengok tajuk, tengok tajuk. Hahaha rasa macam besar sangat perkataan Wanita tu, macam matang sangat. Tak kisah la, ganti lah sendiri ya nak letak gadis ke perempuan ke :)
Entri kali ni mungkin agak serius. Tentang fitrah seorang wanita. Wanita dan lelaki keadaan fitrahnya berbeza, even kalau kita tengok secara fizikal pun, banyak beza antara dua jenis gender ni. Tapi sebagai seorang yang beragama Islam, kita wajib percaya bahawa Allah dah menciptakan kita sama ada lelaki atau wanita, pasti ada hikmahnya. Dia tahu, kita patut dilahirkan dalam jantina apa.
Persoalannya, kenapa agaknya masih ada malah semakin hari semakin bertambah jumlah mereka yang ingin mengubah fitrah semulajadi yang Allah dah tetapkan?
Wanita. Ada sepasang mata, satu hidung, satu mulut, sepasang telinga, sama seperti lelaki. Apa yang beza? Paling simple, suara. Suara lelaki dan wanita, beza. Kalau nak tengok mendalam lagi, kulit lelaki dan wanita, beza. Halkum, jelas kelihatan atau tidak, beza. Bentuk tubuh badan, sangat beza. Senang cerita, terlalu banyak beza lelaki dan perempuan. (Secara fizikalnya lah aku cerita ni)
Terus terang, kalau pergi mana-mana pastu terjumpa dengan golongan macam ni, cepat je mata ni tangkap, "Oh, dia ni ****** rupanya." "Oh, dia *******" kan? Sebab terlalu mudah nak tengok walau berapa banyak pun perubahan yang mereka cuba buat untuk kelihatan seperti jantina yang bertentangan dengan yang asalnya.
Aku cuma tak faham, kenapa perlu nafikan fitrah semulajadi yang Allah dah bagi. For sure, banyak sangat reasons why they became the one they thought they would never be. And one of them aku percaya adalah kerana faktor persekitaran. Mungkin ada antara kawan yang cuba nak bawa gene XY walaupun gene sebenar XX. Dan bila tengok kawan macam macho macho gitu so dia pun rasa nak ikut. But still, why? :(
Sedih sebenarnya kadang tengok mereka ni bijak bijak belaka, comel comel belaka tapi biar diri sendiri hanyut dengan suasana menjadi jantina baru, rasa bebas boleh buat apa, rasa kuat bila anggap diri tu dah macam lelaki betul. But whatever it is, kita ni fitrahnya masih perempuan.
Fuh. Okay.
--
Awak,
Nak jadi kuat bukan begitu caranya, :)
Bila awak cuba ubah fitrah yang Allah dah tetapkan, percayalah, perubahan tu takkan bawa ke mana. Sedaya upaya awak cuba ubah untuk jadi lelaki pun, awak masih perempuan. Dan awak takkan boleh ubah kenyataan tu, sampai bila-bila. Dan jangan salahkan takdir, bila segala yang awak rancang tak berjalan seperti yang awak harapkan. Sebabnya mudah, Allah tak redha.
Tak ada yang namanya perkahwinan antara perempuan dengan perempuan dalam Islam. Dan tak ada yang namanya bercinta bagai sesama perempuan, kecuali cinta itu adalah kerana Allah dan persahabatan atau ada pertalian darah contohnya cinta pada ibu kita sendiri. Bukan sebagai pasangan atau lebih. Tak ada dalam Islam, tak ada.
Awak, :)
Kembalilah. Saya percaya sahabat2 awak yang lain, yang lebih mengenali awak juga menanti diri awak yang dulu. Jangan tangisi dia yang dah pergi, awak tetap kena teruskan hidup awak walau tanpa dia. Allah sayang dia lebih dari awak, dan Allah tahu apa yang terbaik buat awak. Awak berhak untuk seorang lelaki, bukan dia.
Seharusnya dari mula awak tahu, hubungan ini tak akan ke mana. Tak akan, sampai bila-bila. Seharusnya dari mula awak tahu, Allah tak redha. Saya percaya awak lebih mengetahui dari saya. Awak pandai hal-hal agama, lebih dari saya. Dan saya tahu, Allah sedang uji awak, dan ujian-Nya amat berat untuk awak. Tapi awak tak boleh biar ujian tu mengubah hidup awak lebih dari yang sepatutnya.
Redhakan pemergian dia, awak. Biar dia tenang di sana. Anggaplah dia sebagai seorang sahabat yang baik, tidak lebih dari itu. Moga dosa-Nya diampunkan dan moga dia mendapat rahmat dari Yang Maha Esa. Lupakan masa lalu, mulakan hidup baru. Perjalanan awak masih jauh. Jika diizinkan, insyaAllah pasti bertemu jua di syurga kelak :)
--
Dan selemah-lemah iman dalam menegur kemungkaran adalah dengan membenci melihat kemungkaran yang dilakukan. Dan aku tergolong didalamnya. Nak menegur tak mampu, tak ada kuasa dan tak ada hak.
Sama-sama kita hadiahkan al-Fatihah kepada seorang kakak yang baru sahaja pergi menghadap Dia pada 19 Mac 2014 yang lalu. Moga arwah Nur Hidayah Norsham ditempatkan dalam kalangan yang beriman. Sesungguhnya mati itu sangat dekat. Sangat dekat. Al-Fatihah.
Tuesday 25 February 2014
Let's say ...
Let's say you have someone you like.
No, I mean someone you really like.
You have crush on him for years.
You fall for him everyday since you know him.
You barely know him at first, he did not even catch up your attention.
But then he approaches you everyday.
And somehow you realize that there's someone out there who cares.
Cares about everything that involves you.
When you get to know him day by day, you get attracted.
Everything he ever said constantly played on your mind.
Everyday you wait for him to go online, just to see how he's doing.
You checked his facebook/twitter first rather than yours.
Though you have never met him, you opened up your heart, just in case if he likes you too.
And when you know he did, you feel like you're in a dream.
A fairytale.
Everyday you woke up, cheerful, because reality is finally better than your dreams.
You have been through a lot, you have no one to talk to.
And then he came, he gave you his attention.
He makes you believe that he can be trusted. He makes you realize that he's there when no one else was.
He makes you believe that there's someone out there who is willing to accept your flaws.
He fix all of your broken pieces.
And when he's not there, it seems like a part of you is missing too.
And then one day he changed.
But he changed for your own benefit.
He thinks about you more than you did.
He thought he hurt you so bad that he wanted to leave.
He thought that if he leaves, you could be happy.
You won't get hurt.
But you just don't understand.
You thought he's simply leaving.
You thought he doesn't care about you anymore.
You thought he's being selfish.
He can't explain, because he knows even if he did, it will hurt you even more.
But you just wait.
You waited for him everyday to explain.
You checked his profile everyday just to see if he ever say anything about you.
But no, there's nothing.
You feel a little messed up.
You have loads of thoughts but you just can't say anywhere.
Because you don't want him to know your pain.
You drafted loads of posts because you know you can't publish, you can only spit everything out.
You go through your day everyday like what normal people did.
The only difference is when night came out.
That's when you feel so weak.
Weaker than how you are doing during the day.
And it goes the same everyday until you decided to move on, alone.
And when you almost succeed, he came back.
He said he was wrong.
He was egoistic.
And you have to pretend like nothing happened.
You opened up your heart once again.
Because you love him that much.
The impact was so big that you could still cry talking about them.
But then no matter what happened previously, you realize that you can't live without him very well.
You need him to be by your side.
Because he's the one who can makes you smile when you're sad.
Wherever you go, you see him.
Every part of your life reminds you of him.
And there it goes, you just fall for him everyday.
This time you fall even harder.
And you thought your happiness would last forever.
Because he's the only one you think of every time you woke up and the last one you think of every time you are about to sleep.
You like him that much.
And everyday it goes better and better and you know, he's only one you want.
The only want you are willing to spend the rest of your life with.
Until one day, the history repeats.
This time he left without saying goodbye.
You don't realize it at first.
You thought it was just a self reflection a week before.
He wanted to change to be a better person.
And you wanted to help him.
So you give him space and time, to reflect.
You did the same as well.
You tried your best not to bother him.
Because you know that won't change anything.
Until one day, he texted you.
He said he understands how you're feeling.
He reminds you to have faith.
And then you get confused.
You have no hard feelings towards him, instead, you're trying to help him.
But he thought he hurt you.
He read something that wasn't meant for him.
You was once, no, twice, explain that everything you posted on that account wasn't always meant to him.
Sometimes you were just simply share them.
You never thought that your action is counted as doubting him.
And you tried to change everything, the url, everything.
Because you don't want him to get hurt.
You tried to explain once again.
You woke up this one day just to tell him that it wasn't meant for him.
You give him a song, to support him.
Because you know, he has problems to handle though he did not tell you anything.
But everything turned out into something you never thought it would be.
He doesn't like it.
You did not even get the chance to explain, because you know it's just ain't right.
Maybe it's not that day.
Maybe it's not your lucky day.
And all you could tell him is that to pretend like you never do what you did that morning.
You realize you have made a mistake.
You realize what you did was useless.
You know he had loads of problems but then you keep asking yourself why did you bother him in the first place.
You regretted it all day.
And you decided not to say anything until he recovers.
You don't want to be such a burdensome to a person who means a lot to you.
Because his happiness is more important than yours.
You keep silent and luckily your busyness helped you.
Everyday you were just hoping, keep hoping that one fine day, he will be okay.
He will recover.
Until you read something that finally show where you stand all these while.
You don't know how to react.
You don't know if that was meant for you too.
You tell yourself you can't assume.
You tell yourself, be patience, maybe it's not for you.
You keep telling, it was for someone else.
It wasn't for you.
But after a while you realize, you lied to no one, but yourself.
And hence, there you are.
Numb.
Just numb.
Trying the very best not to care, trying the very best to be happy.
Trying the very best to keep thinking, it wasn't for you.
It wasn't for you.
You can't face reality.
Not yet.
And you know where all of these came from.
So you made up your mind to delete everything.
Everything that makes him sad.
You deleted the account, so he won't see anything that hurts him anymore.
You wanted to tell him how much you have trusted him, that you're not doubting him.
But you just can't.
So you keep silent.
You pretend like nothing is happening.
Your ego controls you.
But in the end, you know you lied to one, but yourself.
You thought you could face all of these once again.
You thought you used to it already since this is not the first time.
But you realize you're wrong.
The feelings are still the same.
You have no one to talk to.
You don't want to seem weak.
You don't want to seem needy.
No matter what happen you tried your best to hide everything.
Until the day you reached your limit and burst out everything, to no one but Him.
Though it hurts a lot this time, but you still keep your faith.
You believe things will get back to normal soon.
Because this is not your first time.
You know someday, no, you hope someday he will realize that you need him more than he think.
And for the time being all you could do is keep praying.
And hoping.
You go through everyday strong.
You know he think about you the way he did before.
He cared more than you think.
You keep that in mind everyday.
You checked your phone all the time just in case if the day you waited for has come.
You checked his profile everyday that you hope he will talk to you.
You tell yourself you won't beg him to stay.
Because you did that twice, and you won't do that for the third time.
You have no right to hold him.
And hope, are what holds you.
No, I mean someone you really like.
You have crush on him for years.
You fall for him everyday since you know him.
You barely know him at first, he did not even catch up your attention.
But then he approaches you everyday.
And somehow you realize that there's someone out there who cares.
Cares about everything that involves you.
When you get to know him day by day, you get attracted.
Everything he ever said constantly played on your mind.
Everyday you wait for him to go online, just to see how he's doing.
You checked his facebook/twitter first rather than yours.
Though you have never met him, you opened up your heart, just in case if he likes you too.
And when you know he did, you feel like you're in a dream.
A fairytale.
Everyday you woke up, cheerful, because reality is finally better than your dreams.
You have been through a lot, you have no one to talk to.
And then he came, he gave you his attention.
He makes you believe that he can be trusted. He makes you realize that he's there when no one else was.
He makes you believe that there's someone out there who is willing to accept your flaws.
He fix all of your broken pieces.
And when he's not there, it seems like a part of you is missing too.
And then one day he changed.
But he changed for your own benefit.
He thinks about you more than you did.
He thought he hurt you so bad that he wanted to leave.
He thought that if he leaves, you could be happy.
You won't get hurt.
But you just don't understand.
You thought he's simply leaving.
You thought he doesn't care about you anymore.
You thought he's being selfish.
He can't explain, because he knows even if he did, it will hurt you even more.
But you just wait.
You waited for him everyday to explain.
You checked his profile everyday just to see if he ever say anything about you.
But no, there's nothing.
You feel a little messed up.
You have loads of thoughts but you just can't say anywhere.
Because you don't want him to know your pain.
You drafted loads of posts because you know you can't publish, you can only spit everything out.
You go through your day everyday like what normal people did.
The only difference is when night came out.
That's when you feel so weak.
Weaker than how you are doing during the day.
And it goes the same everyday until you decided to move on, alone.
And when you almost succeed, he came back.
He said he was wrong.
He was egoistic.
And you have to pretend like nothing happened.
You opened up your heart once again.
Because you love him that much.
The impact was so big that you could still cry talking about them.
But then no matter what happened previously, you realize that you can't live without him very well.
You need him to be by your side.
Because he's the one who can makes you smile when you're sad.
Wherever you go, you see him.
Every part of your life reminds you of him.
And there it goes, you just fall for him everyday.
This time you fall even harder.
And you thought your happiness would last forever.
Because he's the only one you think of every time you woke up and the last one you think of every time you are about to sleep.
You like him that much.
And everyday it goes better and better and you know, he's only one you want.
The only want you are willing to spend the rest of your life with.
Until one day, the history repeats.
This time he left without saying goodbye.
You don't realize it at first.
You thought it was just a self reflection a week before.
He wanted to change to be a better person.
And you wanted to help him.
So you give him space and time, to reflect.
You did the same as well.
You tried your best not to bother him.
Because you know that won't change anything.
Until one day, he texted you.
He said he understands how you're feeling.
He reminds you to have faith.
And then you get confused.
You have no hard feelings towards him, instead, you're trying to help him.
But he thought he hurt you.
He read something that wasn't meant for him.
You was once, no, twice, explain that everything you posted on that account wasn't always meant to him.
Sometimes you were just simply share them.
You never thought that your action is counted as doubting him.
And you tried to change everything, the url, everything.
Because you don't want him to get hurt.
You tried to explain once again.
You woke up this one day just to tell him that it wasn't meant for him.
You give him a song, to support him.
Because you know, he has problems to handle though he did not tell you anything.
But everything turned out into something you never thought it would be.
He doesn't like it.
You did not even get the chance to explain, because you know it's just ain't right.
Maybe it's not that day.
Maybe it's not your lucky day.
And all you could tell him is that to pretend like you never do what you did that morning.
You realize you have made a mistake.
You realize what you did was useless.
You know he had loads of problems but then you keep asking yourself why did you bother him in the first place.
You regretted it all day.
And you decided not to say anything until he recovers.
You don't want to be such a burdensome to a person who means a lot to you.
Because his happiness is more important than yours.
You keep silent and luckily your busyness helped you.
Everyday you were just hoping, keep hoping that one fine day, he will be okay.
He will recover.
Until you read something that finally show where you stand all these while.
You don't know how to react.
You don't know if that was meant for you too.
You tell yourself you can't assume.
You tell yourself, be patience, maybe it's not for you.
You keep telling, it was for someone else.
It wasn't for you.
But after a while you realize, you lied to no one, but yourself.
And hence, there you are.
Numb.
Just numb.
Trying the very best not to care, trying the very best to be happy.
Trying the very best to keep thinking, it wasn't for you.
It wasn't for you.
You can't face reality.
Not yet.
And you know where all of these came from.
So you made up your mind to delete everything.
Everything that makes him sad.
You deleted the account, so he won't see anything that hurts him anymore.
You wanted to tell him how much you have trusted him, that you're not doubting him.
But you just can't.
So you keep silent.
You pretend like nothing is happening.
Your ego controls you.
But in the end, you know you lied to one, but yourself.
You thought you could face all of these once again.
You thought you used to it already since this is not the first time.
But you realize you're wrong.
The feelings are still the same.
You have no one to talk to.
You don't want to seem weak.
You don't want to seem needy.
No matter what happen you tried your best to hide everything.
Until the day you reached your limit and burst out everything, to no one but Him.
Though it hurts a lot this time, but you still keep your faith.
You believe things will get back to normal soon.
Because this is not your first time.
You know someday, no, you hope someday he will realize that you need him more than he think.
And for the time being all you could do is keep praying.
And hoping.
You go through everyday strong.
You know he think about you the way he did before.
He cared more than you think.
You keep that in mind everyday.
You checked your phone all the time just in case if the day you waited for has come.
You checked his profile everyday that you hope he will talk to you.
You tell yourself you won't beg him to stay.
Because you did that twice, and you won't do that for the third time.
You have no right to hold him.
And hope, are what holds you.
Sunday 23 February 2014
BAKSIS 2013/2014
Assalamualaikum :)
Tepat jam 6 petang tadi sampai UKM, balik dari berprogram selama 3 hari 2 malam di Kampung Endah, Banting untuk program Bakti Siswa (BAKSIS) 2013/2014. Alhamdulillah lega gilaaaaaa pasal berpenatan selama seminggu untuk persiapan program. Actually seminggu lebih jugak lah kot sebab balik UKM awal dari tarikh pendaftaran sem baru. Tak menyempat nak tengok fon pun. Tweet pun tak menyempat. Lels
Mula dari perkampungan tu dah terasa bahang nak berprogram sebenarnya. Hahaha. Even aku under post yang kurang penting pun, but still kena ambil tahu tugas post2 lain and sama2 tolong diorang jugak. Actually aku under post sukan dan permainan, but at the same time, aku under post publisiti jugak lah. So aku diberi tugas untuk sediakan design mural untuk dinding dewan serbaguna tu. Tu yg kinda busy betul sampai tak menang tangan.
Hari Rabu dan Khamis petang sampai malam busy ber-rehearsal. Balik pun lewat dan lepastu terus tidur. Jumaat, pagi2 buta jam 9 dah ada dkat tempat untuk berkumpul. Sebab AJK kena bertolak awal ke Banting, naik kereta yang ada ah. Meanwhile peserta yg lain after solat Jumaat baru bertolak.
Biasa ah, kata Melayu kan? Hahaha jam 9 kat depan DAM, jam 10 baru nak bertolak. Zzzz. Dekat kul 12 baru sampai kat kampung tu. Pehh serious cakap, first time aku jumpa kampung yang betul2 rupa kampung, tenang, cantik dan bersih. Terpana terpaku terkesima sekejap. Wahaha poyonyaa. Tapi serious cantik ._.
Sampai je kat situ, Pak Ngah yang sambut kitorang. Pak Ngah ni kira orang kuat organisasi jugak ah. Ketua kampungnya nama Wak Lan. Untuk pengetahuan Banting ni kira tempat orang jawa jugak. So kampung Endah ni salah satu perkampungan yang boleh kata majoritinya orang Jawa. Ada ah jugak blaja beberapa perkataan Jawa. Kekekeke
Then buat preparation untuk majlis perasmian pembukaan dan majlis penyerahan anak angkat. Katanya ada lebih kurang 12 keluarga yg terlibat dengan pengambilan anak angkat ni. And setiap keluarga majoriti akan dapat 2 orang anak angkat, tapi ada jugak yg dapat 4 orang. Pak Ngah punya anak semuanya lelaki melayu terakhir seramai 6 orang hahaha sebab tu je jumlah lelaki yg ada. So semua laki jadi anak angkat beliau. Hiks
Aku dengan Myra dapat jadi adik beradik angkat kekekeke family terangkat kitorang baik gileeeee serious. Makan tak pernah tak cukup. Rumah besar gile walaupun papan. Bilik ada aircond. Katil pengantin. Wahaha eh maksud iols katil king kong. Pastu kalau nak kemana2 disediakan moto. Senang citer layanan memang first class baq hang! :3
Lepas majlis pembukaan dan penyerahan tu lah kitorang first time dtg umah keluarga angkat. Hehehe. Maluuuuuuuuu kahkahkah awkward giler first time sebab tak kenal pastu aku ni dahlah jenis tak reti sangat nak borak ngan orang tua. Sebaik mak angkat tu sporting, dia yg banyak cakap. Pastu Myra tolong back up ah. Aku sengih2 je wakakakaka
Cemana nak ngadap bakal mak mertua ni? Lulz
Malam tu ada program motivasi dengan Dr. Rizafizah. Actually dak2 Kimia ni memang dah biasa sangat dengar motivasi beliau dalam kuliah. Hahaha. Kadang rasa sakit hati pasal ayat2 beliau. Beliau mmg jenis yang berterus terang yg amat. Pedas memang pedas, sampai tak tertelan. Huhu. So kami mmg dah biasa. So waktu malam tu tahan jelah telinga dengar. Mihihihi alhamdulillah, naik lah jugak semangat. Kot ._.
Malam pertama tido kat umah mak, berlagak ah ni pasang aircond waktu nak tido. Sekali pukul 3 pagi terjaga pasal sejuk nak mamps. Menggigil teruk. First time bibir sampai bergetar waktu tidur. Padahal dah berselimut dah ni. Tapi nipis jelah selimutnya. Taktau plak akan sesejuk tu. Dengan kudrat yg masih ada aku bangun terus tutup aircond. Hahahaha tak tahannnnn. Pastu bukak kipas nombor 1 je. Aish
Sabtu. Aktiviti dari pagi sampai lah ke petang sebelum asar, OPKIM atau nama panjangnya Operasi Khidmat Masyarakat. Ada pembahagian antara penanaman pokok, lukisan mural dengan rewang. Tapi walaupun ada pembahagian, semua orang still dapat rasa buat semua benda. Best! Setiap orang dapat 1 anak pokok dengan polibag berisi tanah, pastu kena tanam, siram and tulis nama. Katanya beberapa tahun akan datang, tengok sape punya pokok yg hidup hehehe :D
Sebenarnya kalau ikutkan ada 2 design untuk mural. Tapi kedua2 katanya tak menepati citarasa orang2 tua ni. Wak Lan katanya nak design yang menepati ciri2 kemelayuan. So hasilnya macam kat atas tu lah yang paling senang. Kekeke
Pastu petang tu ada sukaneka. Tapi sukaneka yang memang untuk suka-suka je. Kelakar yang amatttt. Walaupun game simple je. Main kerusi muzik, tiup belon jangan pecah dengan lambung belon berair. Part last tu memang basah ah citer dia. Pasal jarak makin lama makin jauh. Hahaha. Tapi serius best! Part kerusi muzik tu mmg dari sekolah rendah lagi main tak pernah menang hahaha rasa nak tolak je semorang xD
Then maghrib tu balik rumah keluarga angkat, makan dan solat, kemudian kumpul semula kat dewan jam 9. Time malam ni kitorang blajar buat kraftangan sambil rewang. Hehehe. Kraftangan kampung biasa ah pakai daun kelapa mostly. Tapi yg kitorang blaja ni satu je. Katanya keris. Haha orang kampung situ laa panggil keris.
Kalau nak blaja buat, boleh PM saya. Kekeke mana lah tahu, boleh buat hiasan rumah :p
And then dlm masa yg sama rewang untuk hari Ahad pulak. Sebab Ahad nak masak nasi Ambeng. So malam tu kopek bawang merah, bawang putih, masak serunding dan macam2 lagi.
Serious dah lama sangat tak bersuasana kampung macam ni. Sangat rindu kampung ...
Malam kedua kat rumah mak, dah tau dah mesti sejuk. So awal2 tak bukak aircond, bukak kipas je. Tu pun nombor 1. Lol. Balik2 tu memang terus tidur. Kepenatan.
Ahad, hari terakhir. Hari ni lah maknanya. Pagi2 pukul 9 kumpul kat dewan, rewang masak nasi Ambeng. Bersihkan taugeh, bersihkan ayam, asingkan pucuk ubi dan macam2 lagi. Memang meriah habis. Pastu buat preparation untuk majlis penutup. After majlis penutup ada sesi fotografi and then baru makan reramai dalam talam. Alhamdulillah, everything went well :)
Habis majlis dalam pukul 2.30 camtu lah. Bas katanya datang 3.30. So sempat ah mandi kejap kat rumah. Pastu sesi perpisahan lah paling sedih. Wuuu. Mak ada bekalkan kerepek ubi, katanya orang kampung situ memang terkenal dengan kerepek aje. Hehe pastu banyak jugak la kasi nasihat kat kitorang. Terharu gile kot. Abah pulak jenis diam je. Jarang betul jumpa abah. Sebab kitorang balik program pun dah lewat, abah pun dah tidur. Tapi waktu hari terakhir tu abah ada lah teman hantar kami ke bas. Hehe
Kampung Endah ni katanya slalu tempat orang shooting filem sebab rumah2nya cantik. Bertuah ah yang duduk situ. Berkali2 menang kampung tercantik dalam negeri Selangor. Tapi politiknya of course ah kuat UMNO. Lelssssssssss boleh kata setiap rumah ada terpampar bendera UMNO. Kekeke
Apa2 pun alhamdulillah, bersyukur sebab berjaya jugak buat program kat tempat orang. Bila dah kat tempat orang ni, mesti la kita ikut budaya mereka kan. Sebenarnya kalau ikut tentatif dengan hari program, memang kebanyakannya bercanggah. Sebab kita datang tempat orang, orang nak kita buat apa, kita kena lah ikut kan. Walaupun pada asalnya kita plan nak buat benda lain. Apa2 pun, perjalanan 3 hari 2 malam ni memang menarik dan banyak tinggalkan kenangan manis :')
Hehehe. First time dapat keluarga angkat, dapat kenal mak, abah, adik2 yang dah besor, kakak2, abang2. Kehkehkeh seronok aaaa rasa nak buat program lagi sekali je lain kali hahaha legaaaa sebab dah tamat. Sekarang boleh aaa fokus untuk program terdekat iaitu Lawatan Industri and Family Day bulan Mac nanti. Maybe buat kat Perak kot. Tahun lepas buat kat Johor. :)
Anyway maaf lah kalau ada yang terasa dengan kata2 aku ke apa. And maaf kalau terasa aku tak layan ke apa. Tapi serious memang busy since balik UKM untuk perkampungan haritu. Ni pun baru je balik dari meeting kebudayaan. UKM ni memang Universiti Kuat Meeting, kalau nak tahu. Sampaikan borak2 dengan roommate tadi, Ziera kata, "Dah lama tak gelak2 gurau senda dengan kau macam ni." Hahaha
Okay serious, dengan ini saya menyusun 20 jari yang ada memohon ampun dan maaf andai ada yang terkasar atau terasa di mana2. Saya takda simpan apa2 yang tak puas hati pun dalam hati ni. Seboleh2nya taknak ada masalah dengan sesiapa. :)
InsyaAllah lepas ni tak busy sangat kot, kecuali bila dah nak dekat dengan lawatan industri nanti lah. Nasib baik esok 1 class je pukul 2-3 petang. So sempat ah nak update belog kejap. Hehehe
Alright, thanks for visiting. May Allah bless, assalamualaikum :D
- Minta doa kawan2, siang tadi dapat berita kurang baik. Nenek kat Perak meninggal dunia. Innalillahi wa inna ilahi raji'un. Semoga arwah ditempatkan dalam kalangan yang beriman. Al-fatihah -
:')
Tepat jam 6 petang tadi sampai UKM, balik dari berprogram selama 3 hari 2 malam di Kampung Endah, Banting untuk program Bakti Siswa (BAKSIS) 2013/2014. Alhamdulillah lega gilaaaaaa pasal berpenatan selama seminggu untuk persiapan program. Actually seminggu lebih jugak lah kot sebab balik UKM awal dari tarikh pendaftaran sem baru. Tak menyempat nak tengok fon pun. Tweet pun tak menyempat. Lels
Mula dari perkampungan tu dah terasa bahang nak berprogram sebenarnya. Hahaha. Even aku under post yang kurang penting pun, but still kena ambil tahu tugas post2 lain and sama2 tolong diorang jugak. Actually aku under post sukan dan permainan, but at the same time, aku under post publisiti jugak lah. So aku diberi tugas untuk sediakan design mural untuk dinding dewan serbaguna tu. Tu yg kinda busy betul sampai tak menang tangan.
Hari Rabu dan Khamis petang sampai malam busy ber-rehearsal. Balik pun lewat dan lepastu terus tidur. Jumaat, pagi2 buta jam 9 dah ada dkat tempat untuk berkumpul. Sebab AJK kena bertolak awal ke Banting, naik kereta yang ada ah. Meanwhile peserta yg lain after solat Jumaat baru bertolak.
Biasa ah, kata Melayu kan? Hahaha jam 9 kat depan DAM, jam 10 baru nak bertolak. Zzzz. Dekat kul 12 baru sampai kat kampung tu. Pehh serious cakap, first time aku jumpa kampung yang betul2 rupa kampung, tenang, cantik dan bersih. Terpana terpaku terkesima sekejap. Wahaha poyonyaa. Tapi serious cantik ._.
Sampai je kat situ, Pak Ngah yang sambut kitorang. Pak Ngah ni kira orang kuat organisasi jugak ah. Ketua kampungnya nama Wak Lan. Untuk pengetahuan Banting ni kira tempat orang jawa jugak. So kampung Endah ni salah satu perkampungan yang boleh kata majoritinya orang Jawa. Ada ah jugak blaja beberapa perkataan Jawa. Kekekeke
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| Gimik perasmian punya props |
Aku dengan Myra dapat jadi adik beradik angkat kekekeke family terangkat kitorang baik gileeeee serious. Makan tak pernah tak cukup. Rumah besar gile walaupun papan. Bilik ada aircond. Katil pengantin. Wahaha eh maksud iols katil king kong. Pastu kalau nak kemana2 disediakan moto. Senang citer layanan memang first class baq hang! :3
Lepas majlis pembukaan dan penyerahan tu lah kitorang first time dtg umah keluarga angkat. Hehehe. Maluuuuuuuuu kahkahkah awkward giler first time sebab tak kenal pastu aku ni dahlah jenis tak reti sangat nak borak ngan orang tua. Sebaik mak angkat tu sporting, dia yg banyak cakap. Pastu Myra tolong back up ah. Aku sengih2 je wakakakaka
Cemana nak ngadap bakal mak mertua ni? Lulz
Malam tu ada program motivasi dengan Dr. Rizafizah. Actually dak2 Kimia ni memang dah biasa sangat dengar motivasi beliau dalam kuliah. Hahaha. Kadang rasa sakit hati pasal ayat2 beliau. Beliau mmg jenis yang berterus terang yg amat. Pedas memang pedas, sampai tak tertelan. Huhu. So kami mmg dah biasa. So waktu malam tu tahan jelah telinga dengar. Mihihihi alhamdulillah, naik lah jugak semangat. Kot ._.
Malam pertama tido kat umah mak, berlagak ah ni pasang aircond waktu nak tido. Sekali pukul 3 pagi terjaga pasal sejuk nak mamps. Menggigil teruk. First time bibir sampai bergetar waktu tidur. Padahal dah berselimut dah ni. Tapi nipis jelah selimutnya. Taktau plak akan sesejuk tu. Dengan kudrat yg masih ada aku bangun terus tutup aircond. Hahahaha tak tahannnnn. Pastu bukak kipas nombor 1 je. Aish
Sabtu. Aktiviti dari pagi sampai lah ke petang sebelum asar, OPKIM atau nama panjangnya Operasi Khidmat Masyarakat. Ada pembahagian antara penanaman pokok, lukisan mural dengan rewang. Tapi walaupun ada pembahagian, semua orang still dapat rasa buat semua benda. Best! Setiap orang dapat 1 anak pokok dengan polibag berisi tanah, pastu kena tanam, siram and tulis nama. Katanya beberapa tahun akan datang, tengok sape punya pokok yg hidup hehehe :D
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| Leader untuk lukisan mural. Poyonyaaaa haha |
Pastu petang tu ada sukaneka. Tapi sukaneka yang memang untuk suka-suka je. Kelakar yang amatttt. Walaupun game simple je. Main kerusi muzik, tiup belon jangan pecah dengan lambung belon berair. Part last tu memang basah ah citer dia. Pasal jarak makin lama makin jauh. Hahaha. Tapi serius best! Part kerusi muzik tu mmg dari sekolah rendah lagi main tak pernah menang hahaha rasa nak tolak je semorang xD
Then maghrib tu balik rumah keluarga angkat, makan dan solat, kemudian kumpul semula kat dewan jam 9. Time malam ni kitorang blajar buat kraftangan sambil rewang. Hehehe. Kraftangan kampung biasa ah pakai daun kelapa mostly. Tapi yg kitorang blaja ni satu je. Katanya keris. Haha orang kampung situ laa panggil keris.
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| Keris kampung Endah. Kalau hunus ke pencuri confirm tak mati. Lels |
And then dlm masa yg sama rewang untuk hari Ahad pulak. Sebab Ahad nak masak nasi Ambeng. So malam tu kopek bawang merah, bawang putih, masak serunding dan macam2 lagi.
Serious dah lama sangat tak bersuasana kampung macam ni. Sangat rindu kampung ...
Malam kedua kat rumah mak, dah tau dah mesti sejuk. So awal2 tak bukak aircond, bukak kipas je. Tu pun nombor 1. Lol. Balik2 tu memang terus tidur. Kepenatan.
Ahad, hari terakhir. Hari ni lah maknanya. Pagi2 pukul 9 kumpul kat dewan, rewang masak nasi Ambeng. Bersihkan taugeh, bersihkan ayam, asingkan pucuk ubi dan macam2 lagi. Memang meriah habis. Pastu buat preparation untuk majlis penutup. After majlis penutup ada sesi fotografi and then baru makan reramai dalam talam. Alhamdulillah, everything went well :)
Habis majlis dalam pukul 2.30 camtu lah. Bas katanya datang 3.30. So sempat ah mandi kejap kat rumah. Pastu sesi perpisahan lah paling sedih. Wuuu. Mak ada bekalkan kerepek ubi, katanya orang kampung situ memang terkenal dengan kerepek aje. Hehe pastu banyak jugak la kasi nasihat kat kitorang. Terharu gile kot. Abah pulak jenis diam je. Jarang betul jumpa abah. Sebab kitorang balik program pun dah lewat, abah pun dah tidur. Tapi waktu hari terakhir tu abah ada lah teman hantar kami ke bas. Hehe
Kampung Endah ni katanya slalu tempat orang shooting filem sebab rumah2nya cantik. Bertuah ah yang duduk situ. Berkali2 menang kampung tercantik dalam negeri Selangor. Tapi politiknya of course ah kuat UMNO. Lelssssssssss boleh kata setiap rumah ada terpampar bendera UMNO. Kekeke
Apa2 pun alhamdulillah, bersyukur sebab berjaya jugak buat program kat tempat orang. Bila dah kat tempat orang ni, mesti la kita ikut budaya mereka kan. Sebenarnya kalau ikut tentatif dengan hari program, memang kebanyakannya bercanggah. Sebab kita datang tempat orang, orang nak kita buat apa, kita kena lah ikut kan. Walaupun pada asalnya kita plan nak buat benda lain. Apa2 pun, perjalanan 3 hari 2 malam ni memang menarik dan banyak tinggalkan kenangan manis :')
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| Mak ngan abah. |
Anyway maaf lah kalau ada yang terasa dengan kata2 aku ke apa. And maaf kalau terasa aku tak layan ke apa. Tapi serious memang busy since balik UKM untuk perkampungan haritu. Ni pun baru je balik dari meeting kebudayaan. UKM ni memang Universiti Kuat Meeting, kalau nak tahu. Sampaikan borak2 dengan roommate tadi, Ziera kata, "Dah lama tak gelak2 gurau senda dengan kau macam ni." Hahaha
Okay serious, dengan ini saya menyusun 20 jari yang ada memohon ampun dan maaf andai ada yang terkasar atau terasa di mana2. Saya takda simpan apa2 yang tak puas hati pun dalam hati ni. Seboleh2nya taknak ada masalah dengan sesiapa. :)
InsyaAllah lepas ni tak busy sangat kot, kecuali bila dah nak dekat dengan lawatan industri nanti lah. Nasib baik esok 1 class je pukul 2-3 petang. So sempat ah nak update belog kejap. Hehehe
Alright, thanks for visiting. May Allah bless, assalamualaikum :D
- Minta doa kawan2, siang tadi dapat berita kurang baik. Nenek kat Perak meninggal dunia. Innalillahi wa inna ilahi raji'un. Semoga arwah ditempatkan dalam kalangan yang beriman. Al-fatihah -
:')
Wednesday 12 February 2014
Currently bothered by few things but don't know how to tell and where to start. So I come out with a du'a instead.
Oh Allah,
Forgive me if I went too much.
Forgive me if I ever be rude to my parents.
Forgive me if I can't control myself at times.
Forgive me if I end up complaining about everything You ever gave.
Oh Allah,
If I ever get married,
If I ever get the chance to become a mother,
Please always remind me,
Not to ask anything from my daughters and sons,
For my own benefits.
Please always remind me,
Not to be selfish.
Please always remind me,
To give the very best to them.
Oh Allah,
Help me to understand the hikmah between everything that happened.
I believe in You.
Ameen Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.
Oh Allah,
Forgive me if I went too much.
Forgive me if I ever be rude to my parents.
Forgive me if I can't control myself at times.
Forgive me if I end up complaining about everything You ever gave.
Oh Allah,
If I ever get married,
If I ever get the chance to become a mother,
Please always remind me,
Not to ask anything from my daughters and sons,
For my own benefits.
Please always remind me,
Not to be selfish.
Please always remind me,
To give the very best to them.
Oh Allah,
Help me to understand the hikmah between everything that happened.
I believe in You.
Ameen Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.
Thursday 16 January 2014
Reminiscing the good old days.
Hello!
This is going to be a long long story, since I miss blogging sooooooo much :)
So .. I've just finished my final examinations for semester 3, alhamdulillah, long way to go, I still have 3 semesters before I graduate (InsyaAllah) and alhamdulillah, everything went well. I mean, the examinations went well though I was thinking of getting not really a good results based on what I've gone through for this two weeks of examinations. Honestly, I don't expect much for my result, I don't even know if I could pass for at least 3 pointer but, well, if Allah wills then insyaAllah, I will.
Reminiscing the good old days when I 'accidentally' opened up my old pictures folders and I found that I've changed a lot mentally and physically. Though the memories are hard to explain by words but I really want to express that I really really miss the old days.
I used to have a very happy family, which makes me a very happy-go-lucky girl. I still am, but I realized that it is not as much as I used to be. Yes, I admit I've changed, but not totally. I'm still the same girl who would laugh over simple things, who don't care about being rich like everyone else, who put their families at the very top of priorities, yes, I am still that girl.
Realizing how I used to be a kid, who did not have to think too much about everything, who just live her life as maximum as she can, and she can do anything she wants without anyone getting pissed off, highlighting the fact that she was only a kid makes me miss my childhood sooo muchh.
Look how fast time has flies.
Well, maybe it's just another way of growing up ... :)
Remembering how I used to be independent since I was in standard form, year 4, where I need to move from Perak to Selangor, living with abah and siblings, really makes me wonder how could I really survive in the past, without my mother. It was so tough back then. I could still cry talking about it in the present. But I know, and I realize that I wouldn't survive well if I'm not the chosen one in the first place. See? Allah gives tests based on our capability to handle them, not beyond what we can't bear.
And I'm still survive. Getting stronger each day :)
Trying to suit myself very well with new environment, new school, new friends till I reached 12 years old. That year was the first year we all the '93s were taking the first 'big' examination called the UPSR. Alhamdulillah, for the first time in my life, I was so happy to get a good result though it wasn't straight A's, Science dragged my result. Really, Azani? Really? :/
Yes, I really hate science during the past but look at what I'm taking now in UKM. Chemistry. A part of science. lol
Moving on to high school, for the first 3 years, from Form 1 to Form 3, I studied in SMK Jalan 3 Bandar Baru Bangi. It's a place where I met my bestfriends, my own 'satu-kepala' group, for the first time. The 4A3H.
A- Azani
A- Ayu
A- Athirah
A- Ain
H- Haz
H- Hashimah
H- Hazirah
It was coincidence that I met all of them and it's too cliche, isn't it, having a group name, capitalized by each member's name. lol I was so happy to know them even though I may no longer be in their life today. Maybe. Everything has changed :') Of course, there are regrets. We, whose life used to fill with laughters and jokes, today is making our own way separately. It's not that we forget each other but sometimes friends who we thought would last as bestfriends are the one who decided to make their own way, leaving memories as memories, not treasures.
Yes, we still contact each other but, rarely. And I guess it's only because of you are in my facebook's friendlist, and I'm in yours. That's all ... No talking, no chatting, since the day I moved to MRSM. I don't know if I could say this as 'contacting each other' anymore.
Just so you guys know, I really miss you guys and I've never forget all of you. I still stalked each one of you, I still have the urge to know what's going on with all of you. But I couldn't deny the fact that we are not as close as how we used to be ...
:(
Sobbing.
Okay, move on. Haha
Getting good results during the PMR (except for History, the only B+ I got -.-) brought me to MRSM KKB. The place where I found friends, but not bestfriends. I decided to take the chance to study in a boarding school for the first time and of course, for a girl who has never studied in a boarding school, she end up crying every night during the first two weeks -___-" I don't think I miss the college so much because bitter memories are dominating the sweet memories I've got there. If I were to tell you the bitter and sweet memories, this entry is not going to end. lol.
The sweetest memory I've collected is only about my SPM results. lol alhamdulillah :D
And one of the bitter memories is that no one came during my graduation day. Seeing other people graduate with families beside them, hurts me a lot back then.
I don't think I would be able to go to KKB anymore. I don't even think I want to. Haha maktab taught me a lot of things, that not all people like to befriend with us, especially when we're newbies who moved from old school into a new school. I mean like, they (who have been classmates since Form 1) had been so closed to each other and it's very hard for me, and my friends (who were newbies too) to suit ourselves with the new environment, where there is a thick line between the old students and the new students.
That one picture above, five of us, all were newbies. It's not that we avoid to befriend with those who I can called as 'seniors' but it seems like the gap was too big and they were the one who avoided us. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm having a very hard time studying in mrsm. lol
That's why I rarely talked about my mrsm's life. And maybe the only one thing I miss was the way teachers taught us till we understand each topic of a subject. Besides I miss my homeroom's mother, Cikgu Suzy who has been so nice to me. She treated me like I am her own daughter and I'm so glad to call her as my second mother. Hehe. Assignments? I definitely do not miss you. Forever. lol
Moving on to matric's life I've got to scream that I miss my matriculation life sooooooooo much!! KMS, the place where I found my true friends and my true identity. A year only, yet full with treasures. Everything, I mean like every single thing about KMS really touched my heart till today. I miss KMS so much :(
How I miss studying at the tutorial rooms during weekends and study week, at night till dot dot a.m, with bestfriends. How I miss teaching and being taught with them. How I miss the cafes, the atmospheres ...
How I miss to walk and jog every evening, seeing my crush playing squash lollllllll :3
Ex-crush I mean. Hahaha. Okay. Stop there -.-
Yeah, I have to admit, among all of my journey of life till today, I mean my education journey, the one that I miss the most is my matriculation life. Though Banting was so hot back then till my face got sunburned like hell but actually the physical change is not comparable with the treasures I found. If I have the chance to repeat my matriculation life, I will ...
Not repeat -.-
Lol. If we keep on looking back in the past, and keep wanting them to be in our life again, we will not be able to move on a step forward and see what we really want in the future. We have to look back, but only to see how much we have left behind, and which one should we improve in the future, not to bring them especially the bad step, again.
Dear SM3K1P10 and Vega-T1-38 members, I miss you guys loads. *tear drops* :(
Surprise!! Hahahahahaha
That photo was taken after the PJK session, if I'm not mistaken during my second semester in KMS.
It was soooo hot in KMS that my face got burnt so bad.
And that photo really really really makes my friends here in UKM burst into laughter.
Really, is that me? :/
Really? Hahahaha
Yes, that's what Banting did to me. Hahaha. Nightmares -.-
I won't go or stay in Banting anymore. I don't want to >.<
And you know what Amy was once said that people with dimples are cute, so I tell her, I have dimples too. And she said she never saw my dimples and she never knew that I have dimples. So I replied, "You never scanned my face, try me when I smile" and then she was like, "Okay I am staring at your matric's picture, oh yeah, so many dimples, oh, so obvious" Hahahahahahaha pffttt
Loads of 'things' on my face actually but the 'darkness' has overshadowed them that's why if I stood in the dark, the only thing that can be seen is my teeth. Funny isn't it? Glad that I have finally got back my real nationality hahahahahahahahaha k.
I bet you are laughing as well seeing that photo. It's okay xD
Okay. Fuh. Take a deep breath. *inhaling*
So, proceed. Today is 16th January 2014.
I'm reaching 21 years old unofficially and I don't know if my age is just a number, or I really have grown up becoming a lady. Because I don't think my mind fits a 21 years old lady. lol
Living my life, still as student, but has been upgraded to a degree student. Ceh, what so good about being a degree student anyway =.= Assignments that never stop, lectures that are getting boring each day and of course, examinations that every students hate. Being a chemistry students especially makes me sometimes fed up with the packed schedule. I wonder why this course is so hard that every semesters we have to take at least 8 to 10 subjects while what I see from my roommates, they won't exceed 8 subjects in a semester.
It's like no matter how hard will it takes, I have to be strong and stay strong and never give up because this is actually one of the purposes of living in His universe. I can't complain, we can't complain. But I still did that sometimes lol
And of course, my examinations period will be the longest among all of the courses. Hahah okay okay. That's not complaining. That is ...
Okay. Sorry. :3
Having Hazirah, Ros, Amy, Myra and Shahirah, my beautiful girlfriends here is one of the best treasures I found in UKM. They are the one who makes my day complete, the one who loves to do random stupid things with me, the one who helped me when I have problems, and the one who accept and respect my privacy as a friend. They don't care how ugly I can get, how messed up I could be, they'll be there for me most of the time.
And I appreciate them. Very much :)
I know, lots of things have passed and how fast time has flies. Life taught me a lot of things. What happened for the past two years really broke my heart. Supposedly home is where your heart is, yes, home is where my heart is, but maybe a fixed heart with scars all over it. I am building my own wall to avoid from feeling too much pain. I know what I have learned has finally makes me stronger and better than the old me.
And I'm glad that everything has return to be normal again. I've got my brother back, and I have only one sister with me now. And I will take care of them as long as I live. I have abah, who has been a strong man too. And acik, who has been replacing mom for about a year. Ibu, who I've been missing too much, but I know, the right time hasn't come yet. Allah wants us to be a lot more patient with what He has planned for us. It's okay. If He wills, we will live happily together again, leaving those bad memories behind. InsyaAllah :)
Proud to say that I'm already a rich girl surrounded by priceless treasures; you know who you are. :')
And so, I guess we are reaching at the end of the entry. Since I am having a quite long holiday for about a month, so I have planned some things to do at home. So what's the plan?
Hahaha. Gila? Nahhh. I am going to transform into a giant if I repeat those activities everyday.
I've bought a new sketch book so I am going to complete it as much as I can, at least one drawing per day. Because if I stop drawing for a long period of time I believe it will be hard for me to have smooth drawings afterwards. And for my simple plan to get some income, I planned to sell bookmarks using my own creativity, through my sister, insyaAllah. Hoping to do at least some productive activities since I like drawings and anything related to arts so much. Hehe.
And so, I wish you guys a nice holiday at home! :) May all of our results pass with flying colours. Hehehe spoiler alert lol
Sekian. Terima kasih sabar baca. Dah lah bajet speaking. Pui
Dua benda yang dari dulu tak pernah berubah pasai aku; ketinggian dan ketembaman.
So jangan nak persoalkan, aku tampaq satgi berteraboq gigi kahkahkah
Okay bye.
Assalamualaikum dan selamat malam. Xoxo :)
This is going to be a long long story, since I miss blogging sooooooo much :)
So .. I've just finished my final examinations for semester 3, alhamdulillah, long way to go, I still have 3 semesters before I graduate (InsyaAllah) and alhamdulillah, everything went well. I mean, the examinations went well though I was thinking of getting not really a good results based on what I've gone through for this two weeks of examinations. Honestly, I don't expect much for my result, I don't even know if I could pass for at least 3 pointer but, well, if Allah wills then insyaAllah, I will.
Reminiscing the good old days when I 'accidentally' opened up my old pictures folders and I found that I've changed a lot mentally and physically. Though the memories are hard to explain by words but I really want to express that I really really miss the old days.
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| Abah's birthday card 2008 |
I used to have a very happy family, which makes me a very happy-go-lucky girl. I still am, but I realized that it is not as much as I used to be. Yes, I admit I've changed, but not totally. I'm still the same girl who would laugh over simple things, who don't care about being rich like everyone else, who put their families at the very top of priorities, yes, I am still that girl.
Realizing how I used to be a kid, who did not have to think too much about everything, who just live her life as maximum as she can, and she can do anything she wants without anyone getting pissed off, highlighting the fact that she was only a kid makes me miss my childhood sooo muchh.
Look how fast time has flies.
Well, maybe it's just another way of growing up ... :)
Remembering how I used to be independent since I was in standard form, year 4, where I need to move from Perak to Selangor, living with abah and siblings, really makes me wonder how could I really survive in the past, without my mother. It was so tough back then. I could still cry talking about it in the present. But I know, and I realize that I wouldn't survive well if I'm not the chosen one in the first place. See? Allah gives tests based on our capability to handle them, not beyond what we can't bear.
And I'm still survive. Getting stronger each day :)
Trying to suit myself very well with new environment, new school, new friends till I reached 12 years old. That year was the first year we all the '93s were taking the first 'big' examination called the UPSR. Alhamdulillah, for the first time in my life, I was so happy to get a good result though it wasn't straight A's, Science dragged my result. Really, Azani? Really? :/
Yes, I really hate science during the past but look at what I'm taking now in UKM. Chemistry. A part of science. lol
Moving on to high school, for the first 3 years, from Form 1 to Form 3, I studied in SMK Jalan 3 Bandar Baru Bangi. It's a place where I met my bestfriends, my own 'satu-kepala' group, for the first time. The 4A3H.
A- Azani
A- Ayu
A- Athirah
A- Ain
H- Haz
H- Hashimah
H- Hazirah
It was coincidence that I met all of them and it's too cliche, isn't it, having a group name, capitalized by each member's name. lol I was so happy to know them even though I may no longer be in their life today. Maybe. Everything has changed :') Of course, there are regrets. We, whose life used to fill with laughters and jokes, today is making our own way separately. It's not that we forget each other but sometimes friends who we thought would last as bestfriends are the one who decided to make their own way, leaving memories as memories, not treasures.
Yes, we still contact each other but, rarely. And I guess it's only because of you are in my facebook's friendlist, and I'm in yours. That's all ... No talking, no chatting, since the day I moved to MRSM. I don't know if I could say this as 'contacting each other' anymore.
Just so you guys know, I really miss you guys and I've never forget all of you. I still stalked each one of you, I still have the urge to know what's going on with all of you. But I couldn't deny the fact that we are not as close as how we used to be ...
:(
Sobbing.
Okay, move on. Haha
Getting good results during the PMR (except for History, the only B+ I got -.-) brought me to MRSM KKB. The place where I found friends, but not bestfriends. I decided to take the chance to study in a boarding school for the first time and of course, for a girl who has never studied in a boarding school, she end up crying every night during the first two weeks -___-" I don't think I miss the college so much because bitter memories are dominating the sweet memories I've got there. If I were to tell you the bitter and sweet memories, this entry is not going to end. lol.
The sweetest memory I've collected is only about my SPM results. lol alhamdulillah :D
And one of the bitter memories is that no one came during my graduation day. Seeing other people graduate with families beside them, hurts me a lot back then.
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| We used to be bestfriends too. |
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| Last day in MRSM. 'Arts' made by batch SPM '10 |
That one picture above, five of us, all were newbies. It's not that we avoid to befriend with those who I can called as 'seniors' but it seems like the gap was too big and they were the one who avoided us. I'm sorry to say this, but I'm having a very hard time studying in mrsm. lol
That's why I rarely talked about my mrsm's life. And maybe the only one thing I miss was the way teachers taught us till we understand each topic of a subject. Besides I miss my homeroom's mother, Cikgu Suzy who has been so nice to me. She treated me like I am her own daughter and I'm so glad to call her as my second mother. Hehe. Assignments? I definitely do not miss you. Forever. lol
Moving on to matric's life I've got to scream that I miss my matriculation life sooooooooo much!! KMS, the place where I found my true friends and my true identity. A year only, yet full with treasures. Everything, I mean like every single thing about KMS really touched my heart till today. I miss KMS so much :(
How I miss studying at the tutorial rooms during weekends and study week, at night till dot dot a.m, with bestfriends. How I miss teaching and being taught with them. How I miss the cafes, the atmospheres ...
How I miss to walk and jog every evening, seeing my crush playing squash lollllllll :3
Ex-crush I mean. Hahaha. Okay. Stop there -.-
Yeah, I have to admit, among all of my journey of life till today, I mean my education journey, the one that I miss the most is my matriculation life. Though Banting was so hot back then till my face got sunburned like hell but actually the physical change is not comparable with the treasures I found. If I have the chance to repeat my matriculation life, I will ...
Not repeat -.-
Lol. If we keep on looking back in the past, and keep wanting them to be in our life again, we will not be able to move on a step forward and see what we really want in the future. We have to look back, but only to see how much we have left behind, and which one should we improve in the future, not to bring them especially the bad step, again.
Dear SM3K1P10 and Vega-T1-38 members, I miss you guys loads. *tear drops* :(
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| Damn. Look what KMS did to me. |
That photo was taken after the PJK session, if I'm not mistaken during my second semester in KMS.
It was soooo hot in KMS that my face got burnt so bad.
And that photo really really really makes my friends here in UKM burst into laughter.
Really, is that me? :/
Really? Hahahaha
Yes, that's what Banting did to me. Hahaha. Nightmares -.-
I won't go or stay in Banting anymore. I don't want to >.<
And you know what Amy was once said that people with dimples are cute, so I tell her, I have dimples too. And she said she never saw my dimples and she never knew that I have dimples. So I replied, "You never scanned my face, try me when I smile" and then she was like, "Okay I am staring at your matric's picture, oh yeah, so many dimples, oh, so obvious" Hahahahahahaha pffttt
Loads of 'things' on my face actually but the 'darkness' has overshadowed them that's why if I stood in the dark, the only thing that can be seen is my teeth. Funny isn't it? Glad that I have finally got back my real nationality hahahahahahahahaha k.
I bet you are laughing as well seeing that photo. It's okay xD
Okay. Fuh. Take a deep breath. *inhaling*
So, proceed. Today is 16th January 2014.
I'm reaching 21 years old unofficially and I don't know if my age is just a number, or I really have grown up becoming a lady. Because I don't think my mind fits a 21 years old lady. lol
Living my life, still as student, but has been upgraded to a degree student. Ceh, what so good about being a degree student anyway =.= Assignments that never stop, lectures that are getting boring each day and of course, examinations that every students hate. Being a chemistry students especially makes me sometimes fed up with the packed schedule. I wonder why this course is so hard that every semesters we have to take at least 8 to 10 subjects while what I see from my roommates, they won't exceed 8 subjects in a semester.
It's like no matter how hard will it takes, I have to be strong and stay strong and never give up because this is actually one of the purposes of living in His universe. I can't complain, we can't complain. But I still did that sometimes lol
And of course, my examinations period will be the longest among all of the courses. Hahah okay okay. That's not complaining. That is ...
Okay. Sorry. :3
Having Hazirah, Ros, Amy, Myra and Shahirah, my beautiful girlfriends here is one of the best treasures I found in UKM. They are the one who makes my day complete, the one who loves to do random stupid things with me, the one who helped me when I have problems, and the one who accept and respect my privacy as a friend. They don't care how ugly I can get, how messed up I could be, they'll be there for me most of the time.
And I appreciate them. Very much :)
I know, lots of things have passed and how fast time has flies. Life taught me a lot of things. What happened for the past two years really broke my heart. Supposedly home is where your heart is, yes, home is where my heart is, but maybe a fixed heart with scars all over it. I am building my own wall to avoid from feeling too much pain. I know what I have learned has finally makes me stronger and better than the old me.
And I'm glad that everything has return to be normal again. I've got my brother back, and I have only one sister with me now. And I will take care of them as long as I live. I have abah, who has been a strong man too. And acik, who has been replacing mom for about a year. Ibu, who I've been missing too much, but I know, the right time hasn't come yet. Allah wants us to be a lot more patient with what He has planned for us. It's okay. If He wills, we will live happily together again, leaving those bad memories behind. InsyaAllah :)
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| :) |
And so, I guess we are reaching at the end of the entry. Since I am having a quite long holiday for about a month, so I have planned some things to do at home. So what's the plan?
Eat.
Sleep.
Eat.
Sleep.
Runningman.
Eat.
And sleep.
:)
Hahaha. Gila? Nahhh. I am going to transform into a giant if I repeat those activities everyday.
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| Ihiks :3 |
And so, I wish you guys a nice holiday at home! :) May all of our results pass with flying colours. Hehehe spoiler alert lol
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| Jimba hari ini setelah habis exam. |
Dua benda yang dari dulu tak pernah berubah pasai aku; ketinggian dan ketembaman.
So jangan nak persoalkan, aku tampaq satgi berteraboq gigi kahkahkah
Okay bye.
Assalamualaikum dan selamat malam. Xoxo :)
Thursday 2 January 2014
Page 2 of 366
*Wondering why the blog views keep on increasing though I rarely update anything.*
Lol, anyway. It's not too late to wish a Happy New Year to all of you, my lovely blog readers! May 2014 be a better year for you guys.
Azam?
Nayyyy. Tak ada azam. Azam yang lepas-lepas pun tak tertunai. Taknak buat azam dah. Anggap je semua benda yang kita buat hari-hari tu sebagai suatu azam untuk kita tingkatkan kualiti supaya jadi lebih baik. Eh, azam jugak ya tu?
Uhuk. Kesian orang nama Azam mesti tersedak disebut-sebut. Maaf. Ihik.
Cerita dia selasa lepas (tahun lepas) *okay lawak hambar* aku pergi ambil test JPJ. And ya tepat sekali, betul jangkaan anda semua. Tak lulus pun 3 penjuru -_- Sesungguhnya aku adalah seorang gadis yang anti dengan 3 penjuru.
Note that ya. Gadis anti - 3 penjuru.
Ahaha. Haruslah repeat bahagian II. Frust juga sebenarnya sebab lagi satuuuu jeeee. Kalau tak wa dah lulus dah dapat "P" dan dah boleh bawa kereta tanpa rasa bersalah dah. Hurmmm
Guess my 2013 ends there, bad news. Though I was hoping to end last year with at least one good news but I just can't stop being so nervous on that day and I guess that was the reason why I failed. *Sigh*
It's okay. Pasti ada hikmah. Apa yang jadi hari ni pun aku percaya ada hikmahnya.
Sedih. Tapi lega sebab semuanya dah selesai, Alhamdulillah. Cuma frustnya sebab tak fokus time jawab Kimia Fizik siang tadi. Oh lupa bagi tahu, sekarang tengah exam week. Dan aku dah pass 2 paper iaitu TITAS dan Kimia Fizik.
Cukup lah nangis siang tadi, sekarang masa untuk kuatkan hati dan diri dan yang paling penting bersyukur dengan apa yang Allah dah tetapkan jadi hari ini dan hari-hari yang seterusnya. Belajar terima takdir dengan redha, insyaAllah.
Sebenarnya aku curi masa sekejap je untuk update blog ni. Terlalu rindu untuk menaip. Terlalu.
Wish you guys a great year ahead :) Good luck to those yang tengah exam week juga. Semoga semuanya baik-baik aja. Mohon doa supaya Kimia Fizik aku tak teruk seperti yang aku jangkakan. Hahaha
Thank you for your time! Till then, assalamualaikum ^^
Lol, anyway. It's not too late to wish a Happy New Year to all of you, my lovely blog readers! May 2014 be a better year for you guys.
Azam?
Nayyyy. Tak ada azam. Azam yang lepas-lepas pun tak tertunai. Taknak buat azam dah. Anggap je semua benda yang kita buat hari-hari tu sebagai suatu azam untuk kita tingkatkan kualiti supaya jadi lebih baik. Eh, azam jugak ya tu?
Uhuk. Kesian orang nama Azam mesti tersedak disebut-sebut. Maaf. Ihik.
Cerita dia selasa lepas (tahun lepas) *okay lawak hambar* aku pergi ambil test JPJ. And ya tepat sekali, betul jangkaan anda semua. Tak lulus pun 3 penjuru -_- Sesungguhnya aku adalah seorang gadis yang anti dengan 3 penjuru.
Note that ya. Gadis anti - 3 penjuru.
Ahaha. Haruslah repeat bahagian II. Frust juga sebenarnya sebab lagi satuuuu jeeee. Kalau tak wa dah lulus dah dapat "P" dan dah boleh bawa kereta tanpa rasa bersalah dah. Hurmmm
Guess my 2013 ends there, bad news. Though I was hoping to end last year with at least one good news but I just can't stop being so nervous on that day and I guess that was the reason why I failed. *Sigh*
It's okay. Pasti ada hikmah. Apa yang jadi hari ni pun aku percaya ada hikmahnya.
Sedih. Tapi lega sebab semuanya dah selesai, Alhamdulillah. Cuma frustnya sebab tak fokus time jawab Kimia Fizik siang tadi. Oh lupa bagi tahu, sekarang tengah exam week. Dan aku dah pass 2 paper iaitu TITAS dan Kimia Fizik.
Cukup lah nangis siang tadi, sekarang masa untuk kuatkan hati dan diri dan yang paling penting bersyukur dengan apa yang Allah dah tetapkan jadi hari ini dan hari-hari yang seterusnya. Belajar terima takdir dengan redha, insyaAllah.
Sebenarnya aku curi masa sekejap je untuk update blog ni. Terlalu rindu untuk menaip. Terlalu.
Wish you guys a great year ahead :) Good luck to those yang tengah exam week juga. Semoga semuanya baik-baik aja. Mohon doa supaya Kimia Fizik aku tak teruk seperti yang aku jangkakan. Hahaha
Thank you for your time! Till then, assalamualaikum ^^
- 28/2/2013 until 02/01/2014 ... Case closed -
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